I'm not sure I bring anything meaningful to the table in a potential relationship

As great a person as I am (there doesn't seem to be a way to say that without sounding like a narcissist), but I'm not sure that I offer all that much to a prospective partner. I'm supportive and caring, but that seems like something which people* expect and consider a baseline rather than something worth considering. But then so many seem to get through without that so who tf even knows.

*I'm referring to women because that's who I'm attracted to, but I imagine men are similar.

Top | New | Old

brainrapist · 31-35, F

I think @AngelUnforgiven poses a good question when asking what you think you should be bringing to the table. While I do think that things like support, honesty, mutual respect, affection, etc are baseline and to be expected from all partners within any relationship dynamic, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to offer “more”. Communication with any partner or potential partner is super important when it comes to things like this. A lot of people have super unrealistic expectations for relationships, so I think that could be why you’re having these feelings of “I have nothing to bring to the table”. As long as you bring your self, even if it’s not always your best self, and effort, I think that is all someone really needs.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@brainrapist I think I'm expecting more of myself than I would expect of anyone else. What I bring is what I want from others as well

Magenta · F

I love this. It's honest and self aware. Supportive, caring and loyal are of huge importance.

Anyone who expects a lot more than that is probably high maintenance and has too high of expectations.We can't be everything to another person and no-one should expect that.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@Magenta I think I expect more of myself than anyone else does, or than I do of anyone else.

Magenta · F

@KiwiDan Don't be too hard on yourself. ✨

ButterRobot · 51-55, M

it sounds like you bring plenty to the table.

sometimes its not what you bring to the table but how you conduct yourself in those early stages...just be yourself and don't over think it.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@ButterRobot not overthinkingbis the hard part. And finding someone attracted to me in the first place

ButterRobot · 51-55, M

@KiwiDan are you using dating apps ?

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@ButterRobot I have them installed on my phone but I don't go into them, so I'm going to say that I don't really.

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Let me ask you something what do you think that you should be bringing to the table?

Because in my opinion honesty, Being faithful, Being loving and being supportive should be enough. Any woman who expects anything more than that shouuld be put in your rearview mirror.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@AngelUnforgiven I don't really know. I'm not sure what other people want. I just feel like I'm supposed to be "more" somehow.

DanielsASJ · 36-40, M

@KiwiDan That "More" stems from the ego. Be happy and wait for the correct time. You will definitely add "More"

DanielsASJ · 36-40, M

@KiwiDan This is what people can do.

[media=https://youtu.be/_MprBz9sv1g]

dirge · M

can you reverse it and ask what you would want someone else to bring to the table?

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@dirge I want them to bring those things that I said I bring. And being into me, but I'm sure that's self-absorbed somehow.

dirge · M

@KiwiDan i don't think so. just trying to point out that if what you listed is what you want {at least mostly) you're a) not being unreasonable in either wants or brings and b) if thats what you want, theres a good chance that someone else wants that as well.

Add a comment...