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What makes a man want a relationship not just sex?

All the guys I meet have more fun with others than they do with me...
I go with the flow but the moment we have plans especially booked and I want to be there on time.
Somehow its always a problem.
They might be late once and I let it slide but the 2nd I get upset.
I hate tardiness and I don't think I should stop being myself.
I have to be honest.
This is when they start getting all distant and only seeing me on their terms
TexChik · F
My husband and I have become two sides of the same coin. He needs my fierce and undying love. He needs my friendship . My pranks and silly jokes. He needs my smile and to know that no matter what I am always there with love in my eyes watching his back and protecting him.
WhateverWorks · 36-40
I think there’s a balance when it comes to nurturing all the connections in our lives, but that balance doesn’t excuse normalized, flaky disrespect..

People get into relationships for a lot of reasons, but I think the happy relationships that last or when both people accept and appreciate each other for who the other naturally is. Nobody likes to be a project. Nobody appreciates being ‘pushed to do better’ a.k.a., regularly being reminded the other person doesn’t think they are good enough and should change abc about themselves in order for their girlfriend to be contented.

I’m not saying change your standards, only that dating a guy you already know will be a project in order for it to work harmoniously long-term is a bad idea.
val70 · 51-55
Well, perhaps in their own thinking there's more fun with a girl who hasn't got "issues". Sadly, dating-wise anything nowadays too personal like being overly politeness can be seen like that.
Someone who really wants a relationship always looks at it on the long term becasuse with true love comes caring for the person. Hope this helps a bit
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@val70 I'm sorry my assumption was wrong! Strong woman
val70 · 51-55
@Mellowgirl That's alright. Never did get over the woman though. Wanted to make you feel a bit better. I experienced another bad one on here only this week but I'm taking it much better. Ultimately, I wanted to say that you shouldn't give up on yourself like that. There are some great ones out there but there are indeed fewer of them than a normal girl grew up believing
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@val70 I'm really struggling...

I really thought I met the one.
He is so far from perfect but he is a trier.
I haven't given up on him but he gives up on himself because making the changes he has decided for himself is hard work.
I'm the only person that makes him want to do better and as a consequence I'm also the one that gets the anger when he falls back.
I'm not pushing him or trying to encourage anything because I didn't want to take on the mothering role.
I've done that before and men don't respect women like that.

I'm really sorry that she broke your heart.
From what little I've witnessed of you here.
They have lucked out...
SoLeRiMix · 31-35, M
Man who understands and values his partner would always focus on relationship. Ofcourse, love-making is a vital part of a relationship but it is one of of the vital aspects, it is not everything in a relationship. In case, a relationship only has s*x and the two hardly understand each other then it is pure lust not love at all. Romance prospers if the two respect and value each other.😇

Being a romantic man, I prefer romantic cosy moments more than love-making. Something like this:
☺️
you have to be a person I want to be a friend with in addition to a person I want to bang
(but definitely you cannot be a person that I am a friend with that I never bang - the friendzone)
Northwest · M
It depends on the man, and whether the relationship has something to offer, in addition to sex.
SW-User
Definitely do not stop being yourself and what you expect
Punxi · 26-30, F
With his television during the Superbowl
popmol · 26-30, M
i'd say its board games!
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
Wait…what?
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@Mellowgirl Not necessarily. You just might be looking for the wrong type of guy. Change it up.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@LunarOrbit this guy couldn't be furthest from my usual type...

I think I'm too demanding.
I desperately just want someone as I feel so lonely.
It's a deep rooted feeling.
Even with my puppy I still feel it just as keenly.
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@Mellowgirl Some people settle for less then regret it.

Others wait hopelessly all their lives.

Good luck.
SW-User
They don’t want a relationship. They don’t want to do the work. They want you easy and weak so they can use you and forget. Onto the next.
His own depth of personality. That's pretty well it
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@ImperialAerosolKidFromEP I wish I knew what that meant
@Mellowgirl just that he isn't so shallow as to value a woman only for what he gets out of it in bed
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@ImperialAerosolKidFromEP ahh I see sorry. Still a big foggy headed
caesar7 · 61-69, M
...being a good cook helps..😁😆
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@caesar7 he's eaten my food
caesar7 · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl ...then I don;t get it. LOL
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@caesar7 last night he said he might eat se of the Xmas esc dinner.
But he didn't.
He said he'd possibly take done food with him. But he didn't.
I made him tea in the morning and he wasn't interested in it.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
tenente · 100+, M
my brother married my sister-in-law b/c and i quote
she makes me want to be a better man
that's a pretty good reason
i can't relate but its a good reason...
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@tenente when I met this guy, he was trying to be a better guy!
But I think a part of me has made him feel rubbish.
Unintentionally.

My mum always tells me I'm "little miss perfect!" and she begrudges me for it.

When I met him I accepted his faults.
But even yesterday he said he was going out to smoke (something he's trying to quit) anyways he said I gave him a funny look when I didn't.
He's used to being around others that don't push him to do or be better.
His comfort is in not changing... I don't like being made to feel like the big bad wolf when I've done nothing.
That's love. @tenente

 
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