Sexless marriage

I was fine in my marriage, but I think I married to young. She is older than me anyway. We used to get on well and since a few other issues, we still do, but I had a few affairs at various stages. She found out about them and she couldn't let me go.
The last one was the worst for me. I ended up having another major breakdown and was very close to taking my own life. She stuck by me and I think I love her more now than I ever did in the past.
Sex is not always the issue. Although we never used to have it very regular when we got on, maybe once a month or maybe every two. I think that is why I strayed during those times.
Now sex is not really possible for her, the last time was not good. Physical problems prevent it.
I still want sex, but I cannot stand all the hassle now, so I will no longer look else where. A bit of sex talk with a lady never goes a miss, but having an affair is not on the agenda.
I think if you truly love someone, try and find another way to get satisfaction.
I expect some of my posts from a few years back would say something totally different, but I have changed.
She saved my life when I was at the lowest I have ever been. I was close to no longer living and it was very dark. I still get very dark days or weeks, but she keeps me going.
Don't throw it all away, because you cannot have sex the way you want it.
My outlook has changed.
If any of the above makes sense, I am glad, but to be honest I am not sure it does. I have had a long day and am so tired.
Whatever the outcome, good luck.

My wife started menopause early, at 35 she was diagnosed as peri-menopausal. By the time she was 40, she had passed through menopause. She refused hormone replacement therapy. In the space of a few months, we went from a normal sex life 2-3 times a week to once every 2 or 3 months. Like your wife, when I asked her about sex, she responded that she just didn't have any interest in sex "this is the way it is now, just get used to it." 15 years later, we are still having sex once every couple months, I still haven't gotten used to it. It hasn't gotten any better. I can't really see how she expects me to remain faithful while my needs get ignored. I don't do flings or one night stands, I got married because I wanted a relationship with one woman and now that she has made her decision to not try to meet my needs, I have a friend who fulfills most of those needs. Looking back, if I had known it was going to turn out this way, I would have ended it 15 years ago. I know it isn't good for my mental health, I have dealt with bouts of depression, and it isn't good for her either. Whether she sees it or not is a different story. She has become irritable and, in some cases, downright mean. I have begun travelling about 4 days a week for work and spending weekends at my hideaway. She will be financially independent in another year, and at that point, if we aren't divorced we will at least be living independent of one another.

I was married for 15 yrs, the last 5 were nearly sexless. We divorced and I never looked back. That was over 20 yrs ago .I have never remarried and probably never will. My sexlife has been and still is off the hook. The likes of which I never could have imagined and only fantasized about. Those fantasies were fulfilled numerous times over. Often times now I help ladies and couples fulfill there fantasies. I have been very fortunate to have met many open minded ladies wanting to experience life and all it has to offer. I am sure my story isnt the norm by any means , but if I had stayed married ....... the amount of life and living I would have missed is beyond belief. I wish you the best, don't forget we only live once and our time on this rock is far to short.

My wife did the same thing 12 years ago. She just said that's it and won't let me touch her. Very frustrating!

One alternative might be massages.
If she is not even open to that then there are the AMPs. If you become a regular they are more open to assisting with that. Alternatively, there are possibly old friends who are no longer married but are also looking for a safe connection with no strings attached. The bar approach may be a possibility but that can then lead to the much more risky and expensive option of going far afield and finding a few friends for the evenings. Unlike the AMPs these can be a bit more focused. The last thing that comes to mind is to grieve and accept. That is where I find myself. Good luck.

@Funtimes25 My wife did the same when the dreaded menapause struck, she immediately went off all physical contact. We have literally had no form of physical contact between us for over five years now. It’s so frustrating at first, after two years it becomes the norm. I decided to make peace with it although thank god for the internet. Hang in there buddy .

I was in your boat . Finally got the courage to change it and dont regret it and free to find someone else .However will never ever marry again learnt my lesson .

Sorry to hear that . Been there for last 20 years . Wife told me about same thing . Chat with others and sad to say , porn has helped .

Hang in there 👍

Want an intervention? Bring her on here and we'll all be loving and understanding.

Seems like a common thing anymore.

Get surgery to remove the two golf balls so that you can be happy about a sexless marriage. That is my suggestion.

I'm sorry. I don't blame you.

I wouldn't put all this stock in a fling. It could make things worse. Are you currently in counseling?

Your choices are divorce or making peace with it.

Has she gone to the doctor and have you tried couples counselling?