Sexless marriage

Hi ive been married for 15 yrs. The last 2 of which i can count on one hand how many times we have done anything sexual. She says she just doesnt feel like it anymore. No matyer what i say or do try to start with a relaxing massage she just says thats enough. She said she just quit wanting it. She used to love sex more then i did. For yrs i could hardly keep up to her then it was like a switch qent off and she wants nothing to do with sex. I love her and she says she loves me ihas nothing to do with that but i need to feel some sort of sexual pleasure from someone. Im actually thinking of looking for someone that just wants a quick fling. I dont know what else to do im getting into a very depressed state more than anything ive told her how attra tive i f8nd her that shes sexy. It just doesnt help. I find myself watxching porn looking at pics and i know i need real phsyical contact more then anything. At this stage id even be happy to just chat with another women just to get some kind of conversation going. If anyone has any advice im desperately listening.

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

I wouldn't put all this stock in a fling. It could make things worse. Are you currently in counseling?

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 i was in counselling yes and we both were it didnt help. Im really just at my wits end i dont know how else to get myself out of this feeling of being depressed and rejected.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 Not both of you, you personally. Marriage counseling is limited IMO(been there). You have some big questions to answer and choices to make and might benefit from one-on-one with a good psychologist. I'm a divorced guy myself and I hate seeing people go through this.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 i have seen someone on my own she was great and lots of ideas. But im just at alost for words. I love her but i need the physical aspect too. And i dont know how else to get it.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 I wish I had something constructive to suggest. If she is clinging to never being intimate with you again, just my opinion, the ball is in your court(pardon the pun).

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 i understand it just really sucks

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 I married my best friend, only to watch her do a 180 and become a neurotic, self-centered toad of a person. I hung in as long as I could, but one day it was crystal clear what I had to do....and I filed. But that was my situation.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 maybe ill get there. Maybe i just need to meet someone that gives me the drive to move on. Idont know. Im hoping maybe ill even meet someone through chat that says or does sowmthing that makes me click and say aha.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 Do not rebound. I really fucked up by doing that. I let a narcissist get to me because I was vulnerable. Was real Fatal Attraction shit. If you decide to split, do yourself a huge favor and just date or have women friends or something. My exfiance was beautiful, smart, sexy, killer bod, best sexytime ever but also emotionally and physically abusive and batshit crazy. You need to have 100% of your resolve to fight off a narcissist. Don't fuck up like I fucked up.

And don't worry--your mate will eventually provide you the AHA. Both the ex-wife and ex-fiance did, and I am grateful for that.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 indef dont want another relationship like that. O really just want right now a physical only connectiom

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 If you feel that you can do that without getting attached, that makes sense. But I know myself well enough to know that I would probably end up with feelings. I CANNOT do that. You know yourself best, just proceed with caution.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@uncalled4 right now i feel like thats my only option. Id even be happy just to meet someone online that can help me feel better or figure my life out.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@uncalled4 aha?

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@Tastyfrzz ?

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Funtimes25 I'll leave you with this: when I joined the online dating pool, one of the first things I concluded is that a lot of people are single for a damned good reason. It's a bad idea to attempt to source your happiness from someone else. That is all. The best of luck to you...you will land on your feet.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@Funtimes25 oic where the "AHA" came from. I wouldn't count on it. She might be depressed or be angry or perhaps is a lesbian or is uninterest in your big toe...who knows.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@Tastyfrzz i never thought about the lesbian thing before. I cant see it though.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@Funtimes25 my ex did that.

Funtimes25 · 46-50, M

@Tastyfrzz im sorry to hear thatits terrible.