Suppose you were married for 7 years today. Would you arrange something special for your patner?

@Starcrossed spending time together and sharing activities is enough for me

@kimmy159 Because of financial abuse, I don't even get the option to do anything like that.

If I had the means, I would just do it anyway... if he wants to be there and participate, then he can - if not... I'll celebrate alone. That might help to get the message across.

@HootyTheNightOwl Heheh I always appreciate your input ^^ I already do that by going away with friends (girls) more often whether or not he likes that. They know more of what I like to do than he does 🤷🏻‍♀️

@kimmy159 In my case, any guy I'm with has to accept that I will be found hanging out with the boys.

Most of the people I gravitate towards are male, so my friend circle is mostly male (I've been that way since I was a teenager and struggled to fit in with the girls)... however, I wouldn't be doing sleepovers alone with the boys unless I know that my relationship is strong enough to tolerate that. Up to now... few have been that secure.

@kimmy159 Maybe he’s just settled in then. Does he seem happy albeit with no interest in celebrations?

@Reject He says he is, he never needed much affection either so I believe him. I have a bit more difficulty with it though

@kimmy159 I see! You’re different from your partner so there’s things to work out there. That’s okay! If he really does love you he’ll be willing to do a bit extra to help you feel better. You might think of that as a comprise but it doesn’t have to be. You find a game that you both want to play. That’s the solution. Not a compromise. You and him bring your skills to the table where you’re both optimally utilized so it’s a better game than you two could play alone.

@Degbeme I feel like this is eventually how we’ll end up if we both stop doing effort

@kimmy159 I honestly hope not.

@Degbeme But why doesn’t she do any effort though? I often feel like life is rough enough as it is. Might as well try to make the ones around us a little happier through our effort

@JimboSaturn It’s definitely okay not to be big on anniversaries together. But what if your partner was really big on it? Would you put in more effort than you’d normally do yourself to make them happy? Just curious, there is no wrong answer here

@kimmy159 Yes is she was really into it I would definitely make a big deal of it.

@kimmy159 I see. You can always dm if you need tips or advice, although they’re very psychopathic and manipulative. I’m just really good at this stuff.

@AnonymousJSS I’m supposed to be too to be honest 😂 It’s just that my husband knows me too well on that front by now after having been together since we were teenagers :-) I appreciate it though 😁 Can I add you?

@kimmy159 Yes you may

@kimmy159 im sorry :( for that & that you arent feeling well
anything i can do?

@AllelujahHaptism Thanks that’s so sweet ☺️ there’s really nothing you can do though 😁 but I appreciate it 😁

@kimmy159 well, i can be around, just incase haha

@black4white I agree 😁 Nothing is guaranteed in life. I prefer taking every opportunity to celebrate important days. When we were married for 5 years, I took my husband to see a grand prix in Formula 1 in Italy for 5 days even though I’m not a race fan myself. We had a blast. I’m not saying something like this should be the goal every time, but everytime my husband is in charge of the arrangements we usually end up doing not much of anything and it kind of disappoints me :(
One of our other anniversaries, he took me to Disneyland and centerparcs even though I said I still liked doing that but wanted to go with our kid. We went by ourselves and I kept thinking Neil would have loved this and that, but as an adult I’m not enjoying it as much by ourselves anymore.
Idk if it’s just me expecting too much or if I should be able to expect more from the person I’ve been together with for 17 years. Even my friends know what I like more :(

@carpediem heheh thanks 😁

@YMITheWayIM Sounds pretty perfect 👌

@kimmy159 I just said it cause I figured no one else would (somebody had to).

@FloorGenAdm Guess not, but honestly I do understand. It’s not like I don’t have a busy life of my own. I have a very busy career and we have a kid of 5 years old. I mainly take care of him cause my husband has a busy career too. But often when people feel tired, they stop putting in the effort. I’ve never been like that but it saddens me sometimes that I don’t seem to get the same effort returned on that front.
I know it’s quite demanding in some way. But if I’m willing to do the same, I guess I expect at least a bit of effort too :-)

@Jimbo1 So you’d never celebrate it in between? These days staying together for any amount of years seems already worth celebrating lol