The rear view effects

This Thursday will officially be 2 months since we last spoke and a single day hasn't passed without me thinking of them. Somedays, I feel so empowered and pat myself on the shoulder for making the choice to walk away and on other days, I feel my heart ripping through my chest. I keep hoping that they reach out but praying they continue to keep their distance and let me heal. I am scheduled to fly home in December and before we spilt they knew about my plans to be home for the holidays. I keep hoping that they reach out and we meet up and have a conversation but deep down I know this wont change a thing and I'd just make matters worse.

On the other hand, I feel like when I return here after the holidays without them making contact, I'll finally be in a place where I fully accept things for what they are and truly move on. I believe then id be in a position to push back should they ever choose to reach out in the future.

Right now, I'm really missing them.

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Frostcloud · F Best Comment

i honestly feel this to my core. even people who have hurt me i miss every day. some days i can recognize theyre not meant to be in my life. but the idea of never speaking to such a core person is also unreal. i try to remember...

Alifeinterrupted · 26-30, F

@Frostcloud I honestly needed to read this! It is hard to have to cope with the idea of never speaking to someone again that you’ve spoken to everyday for months..it will definitely rewire your brain and that process is painful. I know it gets better eventually so thank you for reminding me

HootyTheNightOwl

You are doing well with your healing journey, though.

It's normal to miss them and to grieve the relationship you had/thought you had.

Just keep inching your way forward into your bright new future.

Alifeinterrupted · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl thank you for saying that. Some days are impossible but I know it will better as long as i don't look back 😌

PoetryNEmotion · F

Your closure is how they left you. Focus on moving forward. Tell your heart it is long over. Move forward.

Alifeinterrupted · 26-30, F

@PoetryNEmotion I will most certainly keep moving forward!

Toolmar1 · 36-40, F

[media=https://youtu.be/qMLgCAjStJA]
So I came upon this song randomly on Facebook one night and honestly it fits perfectly here.

Alifeinterrupted · 26-30, F

@Toolmar1 truly beautiful song! Thanks so much for sharing

Toolmar1 · 36-40, F

@Alifeinterrupted isn’t it so beautiful though! You’re welcome so much!

REMsleep · 41-45, F

Getting over people takes time I didn't read any of your past posts so I don't know your situation but time truly does make the memories a little fuzzier and you will get over it.

Especially if you know that you're doing the right thing for yourself, you're going to move on in your heart at some point.
I'm not saying that every now and then you won't have a little pang of what could have been but at the end of the day that's what it takes to live a good life. Making those hard choices and I have not always made the hard choices so I'm telling you as a person who could do better myself.

Alifeinterrupted · 26-30, F

@REMsleep you're absolutely right in saying this. I know my choice to walk away was the best one and I'll continue to stand by it even in the face of adversary. Somedays I just really miss our conversations and wish I could take up the phone and call them during an extremely hard day. Its really painful not having that avenue again.

Thanks a lot for your kind encouraging words

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