The rear view effects

This Thursday will officially be 2 months since we last spoke and a single day hasn't passed without me thinking of them. Somedays, I feel so empowered and pat myself on the shoulder for making the choice to walk away and on other days, I feel my heart ripping through my chest. I keep hoping that they reach out but praying they continue to keep their distance and let me heal. I am scheduled to fly home in December and before we spilt they knew about my plans to be home for the holidays. I keep hoping that they reach out and we meet up and have a conversation but deep down I know this wont change a thing and I'd just make matters worse.

On the other hand, I feel like when I return here after the holidays without them making contact, I'll finally be in a place where I fully accept things for what they are and truly move on. I believe then id be in a position to push back should they ever choose to reach out in the future.

Right now, I'm really missing them.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Frostcloud · F Best Comment

i honestly feel this to my core. even people who have hurt me i miss every day. some days i can recognize theyre not meant to be in my life. but the idea of never speaking to such a core person is also unreal. i try to remember...

Alifeinterrupted · 31-35, F

@Frostcloud I honestly needed to read this! It is hard to have to cope with the idea of never speaking to someone again that you’ve spoken to everyday for months..it will definitely rewire your brain and that process is painful. I know it gets better eventually so thank you for reminding me