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Redbeard · 56-60, M
If she really missed you, she would have made the effort to contact you by now. Trust me, she was losing interest. If you do wish to reach out to her, only do it once. If she responds enthusiastically, there is hope. However if she give only a casual response or no response at all, walk away from her forever. Otherwise she will just use you for a fallback or a go to person whenever she wants something. I know how you feel. Been there and done that. I know it's tough to do, but there is no other remedy available. Once people come to realize that you won't tolerate their nonsense, they will respect you for it in the long run even though they claim that they hate you for it.
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Arysan · 26-30, M
@RubySoo @VeronicaJane I wanted to talk about it before cutting contact but she wasn't interested in talking about it, plus I heard she met someone.
What was I supposed to do? Wait until she made up her mind between me and the other guy?
What was I supposed to do? Wait until she made up her mind between me and the other guy?
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@Arysan no. You did the right thing to dump her. But not for the right reason. You dumped her coz you thought its what she wanted, not coz its what you wanted and now you are doubting yr decision. If you really believe she has someone else, stick to your decision, as you KNOW you will only feel that way again if she said shes willing to try again.
Judging by her reaction @Arysan, it sounds like you may have done more than merely suggest that you should cut contact. You may also have come on too strongly, and perhaps not what she was looking for. @RubySoo is right and you are second guessing yourself. No idea how credible it is "hearing she met someone..." You may well want to consider moving on. Whether there is a lesson here, may well be up to you.
thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M
I won't be as heartless as some below, you went with your feelings and your intuition, maybe doubt and insecurity played a role, but the ones cutting you up below are heartless when you are clearly feeling regret. Some people when they become older like to look at themselves as sages, and in my eyes a sage would not ever cut a person up.
Is there a chance you can find her attention again? If that's what you want, go deep and be present and tell her your feelings.
Is there a chance you can find her attention again? If that's what you want, go deep and be present and tell her your feelings.
Yeah you rushed into cutting contact with her because she seemed to be tuning out anyway.. whatever was going on with her she didn't think to share with you so it seems she was cutting you out slowly on her own side as well.. maybe you miss her but it seems like she wasn't all there for you anymore anyway as it were and she didn't care to be honest with you about it and you didn't wait to see why.. so why try further?? Because you are feeling the loss??
twistedrope · 26-30, M
Imo, you were probably rushing it and should reflect. It would have been worth it to talk with her about how you felt she wasn't engaged in a conversation. Or more just you felt sad she didn't have much to say. Feeling something is pretty much one of the most important things you can trust and should talk about with those who care about you.
You weren't wrong but communication is real important for the next girl.
You weren't wrong but communication is real important for the next girl.
Arysan · 26-30, M
@twistedrope I've tried several times to talk to her about it, but she kept insisting that everything was okay. However, even if it was unintentional on her part, I could sense something changing between us at that time. I could tell because I knew how close we were and how she used to tell me everything about her day and ask about mine, but she stopped doing all those things. Anyway, I just heard from a mutual friend that she met someone around the time she started acting distant.
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@Arysan Yeah. You're right. As I said, your feeling of being sad she wasn't engaging was true. If she downplayed how you were feeling left out or sad or your feelings, that would be a bad sign and a good thing to not keep talking.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience like that.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience like that.
mindlessdrifter · M
You suggested two weeks ago and she immediately accepted?
@Arysan has she responded to you, or reached out to you since then?
Arysan · 26-30, M
@VeronicaJane No
@Arysan then you pretty much have your answer. You may not know what, but something was off and just didn't work. Perhaps she felt that you emotionally attached too deeply and too quickly. Maybe you're looking for a committed relationship and she'd rather be dating several people. Time to focus elsewhere.
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Carazaa · F
Call her and let her know you miss her, that's all. Always be honest and kind. Then you don't have regrets in life.
eyeno · M
[b]Some were meant to be loved, not belong.[/b]
LemonWorld · 36-40, F
Leave her alone! You already did enough
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Baremine · 70-79, C
Contact her and see where it goes.
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
It’s over
Let it go
Let it go
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