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Is it normal to enjoy husband leaving for months at a time ?

I just feel like I can breathe be silly, wake up when I feel like it, not constantly being judged and required to do something. There are times when I thought my husband was enjoying something with me but he was judging my every move, reaction, timing. When he leaves for work trips I get so happy that I have to contain my happiness and act a little sad when dropping him off at the airport. He also smothers me when he is here he has no life outside of me. So my days consist of him monitoring what I eat, telling me to be consistent with workouts, I just can’t breathe. I found myself sneaking away to grab chic fil a burgers without him cause he is a strict vegan.

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Jenny1234 · 51-55, F

A Marriage is a partnership. You should be able to wake up when you want, eat without being monitored, workout at your own pace

Sounds like you’re living the life of a Stepford Wife

nevergiveup · M

My wife is a live in care end of life. she is away for days sometimes. I like to have her back for a few days but its good to have some me time

SW-User

Whats surprising is you're still married to him

LadyGrace · 70-79

@SW-User Bingo!!

BrokenAbyss

I could not be with someone who controlled me like that.

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Convivial · 26-30, F

@BrokenAbyss i enjoy my own company, but time with friends, occasionally, is still time well spent

Lexiitexii · 31-35, F

@BrokenAbyss the only way I can describe him is like the husband off of hands maid tale but less villainy. Great provider, kinda obcessed with me but when angry he can get nasty. the bright side is he enjoys paying for everything doing things for me, but I enjoy doing something for myself and having that free time and alone time. So idk what to call him cause I’m paper it’s like he’s perfect but something just a little off.

BrokenAbyss

@Lexiitexii Ultimately it’s your happiness that is important. I have dated all different kinds of men and find no one will be without their own unique baggage. It’s just life. If you accept him that way and are satisfied with life, that’s respectable. I have tried being with men that are controlling and/or have tempers and that’s one thing I know I couldn’t tolerate. To each their own. I wish you love and joy.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

An old saying I heard in the military was "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or absence makes the heart go wander." Both can be equally true. Communication is the key, I travel almost weekly for work, when we are together, she likes to sleep in, she does her own thing and I do mine, she does things I like sometimes and I do things she likes sometimes. It can't all be one sided. You should talk to him about his attitude, annoying things like that kind of just fester until you blow up about it one day, at least that is how it works for me.

LadyGrace · 70-79

I'm so sorry. That's no way to live. 😥

Convivial · 26-30, F

If you're being smothered and not allowed to be you, then no... Enjoy your me time and being yourself

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

Somewhat relatable. Mines a ball of stress. Everything is an issue and he can’t let anything go with anyone. Constant drama. If he went away for a week or so I’d prob enjoy it, not gonna lie. He’d never go away for a few months…

Lexiitexii · 31-35, F

So you get me it’s the people on here acting like we’re not normal for feeling this way. Let me tell you how space saved us. When he came back this last time we just had fun Didn’t argue we just felt this peace that we wanted to keep and share with each other after experiencing it apart. @DoubleRings

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

People don’t get it. But yes I do. He taxes my energy most of the time. He’s a busy body and loud and constantly talking and worried about peoples business. He’s messy and I have to be right behind him cleaning up. @Lexiitexii I have to make sure tasks are done on time or done at all. I’m always checking cause he forgets things often due to being so busy. And then like I said earlier he has an issue with just about everyone and takes a position about just about anything including mundane events like if we are using the correct bowls for cereal vs soup or how many perfectly reusable plastic bags we tossed in the garbage (I actually cut holes in the bottom so he won’t pull them out). When he’s gone the only anxiety I have is what drama happened while he was out and how it will impact me.

tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F

Your husband is too controlling.Perhaps it is time to divorce him.Get yourself a divorce lawyer to make sure you have a great financial settlement and go have fun with men that appreciate you.Nothing serious for a while just sexy adventures.

Carazaa · F

He is probably just trying to be helpful because he loves you. I suggest telling him you just want to have a fun day and not feel pressured next time he monitors you. 🙂 (I would repeat it if necessary)

Docdon23 · M

sounds like a strained relationship in need of better communication and more...I used to feel this way about my father. And I am vegan and the rest of my family is not. I do not judge or say anything, although I admit at certain family events it is challenging...like Thanksgiving. it is better for him to live and let live...I find it a better way to convince anyone else to change--model what you would like but do not judge or harrass.

Sandra42 · 41-45, F

Honey get dress go out to a club or bar and find a man to have fun with, your husband doesn't have to know what you do when he's away.

SStarfish ·

No.. your husband is an aggravation.. that’s not 100% normal.. but extra unpleasant .. he’s a total butthead

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

Is it normal to want freedom, you mean, so yes. Doesn't matter who it would be, husband, mother, a stranger, anyone who lives with such people is happy to take a break from them.

Snuffy1957 · 61-69, M

I really hope you can find someone who will love and respect you for being who you are...
If you are Happy when he goes, imagine how HAPPY you could be if He never came back...

Ducky · 31-35, F

That doesn’t sound normal at all. Or healthy. But that’s all I will say on it, and that I hope you two can overcome these issues.

SomeMichGuy · M

@Ducky 👆👆👆

spice1 · M

Now is the time to go out and enjoy yourself, put on some sexy dress and heels then go out to the club, how far you want to go is up to you but have fun while he's away.

Incomplet · 22-25

Isthisit · F

Ouchies sounds like yous are not so compatible after all. Especially if youre feeling that way all the time.

SomeMichGuy · M

@Isthisit 👆👆👆

krf336 · M

Its not strange to enjoy so.e alone time, but if you start dreading when he comes home, you have another problem.

littlepuppywantanewlife · 31-35, M

It's good. But if he won't leave out for trips? Then will you not be honest with him?. I understand the fact that he is health conscious but there needs to be conversation about it. Understanding is important. Hopefully you enjoy your time 🙂

SomeMichGuy · M

So sad that you find chik-fil-a to have a burger worthy of your cheating... 😉

SW-User

Can relate

SW-User

You chose him🤷

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