Why is he staying with me if I am all these things

been with a guy for 5 months now. We are engaged we moved fast he told me he loved me 2 weeks than we got engaged 2 months later it's been great until a week ago he was acting distant finally he told me what was wrong I am shocked I didn't know hr felt this way he said that I was to needy that I was suffocating him that that I worry to much that I am an emotional disaster that if I layoff and don't suffocate him we will be fine that he is not going to consume himself with me he has other responsibilities that I am always complaining that if I am not the man I want that I should break up with him I don't want that I told him than break up with me if you don't like the way I am He said no I am not going to break up with you if he isn't happy with me than why won't he break up with me

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LadyGrace ·

Big red flag. Dump! He's no good for you, already trying to control you. You haven't lost a thing! 😉

candynerka · 46-50, F

Update I talked to him this. Morning and told him that I was shocked about all the things he said to me last night he replied I I am done talking about this everything I said is reasonable and most intelligent people with any common sense would agree with me. I hope you are one of them

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candynerka · 46-50, F

Still trying to figure all this out

smiler2012 · 56-60

@candynerka is there no chance of reconcile then do you accept what he says that the situation is of your doing by the way you are with him

candynerka · 46-50, F

Yes there is a chance he is only trying to help me I get that a lot from last relationships don't must have a problem but I already new this I fixed myself before I meet him andtild myself that I wouldn't love so fast with him because I get needy but than inlet my gard down because the way he was making me feel he said and did everything I wanted it was like he studied me or something and then he asked me to be his wife so I thought he was my soul mate he would say we were men't to be together he had been trying to get with me for years I always told him no anyway I let my guard down and went against everything I said I wouldn't do now he has changed he is not the person I thought he was @smiler2012

TexChik · F

It seems obvious you two need a break from each other .

REMsleep · 41-45, F

You moved faster than I would recommend but I won't chastise because sometimes when you know then you just know and it can last forever.
But 99% of the time when someone says that they love you after 2 weeks they cannot possibly know you yet.

Even if they do love you it is still a surface type of love and can easily be confused with lust, desperation, loneliness and other needs and emotions that do not make a good foundation for long term success.

I don't care for bullshit so personally I would consider his comments a likely attempt to demean and control me. Especially since it was out of the blue. Either that or he has serious issues with kindness and communication.

I would break up and take some space and focus on my mental health.
If he is truly in love he will reach out. Only you know if you are clingy and suffocating.
But whatever the case always be yourself. You are at an age where you should know if you've heard this type of complaint before or not.
His delivery was rude and sounds like a sign of things to come.

smiler2012 · 56-60

candynerka think you need to sit down and have a serious talk if you want to save this relationship and perhaps try and be more bearable i am not saying for one moment it is all your fault this

Miram · 31-35, F

These are things you do, not things you are. You should try to make compromises and work on improving.

Same applies to him

This message was deleted by its author.

Millard1 · 61-69, M

Sounds like he’s giving you the cold shoulder, might want to look in his closet

LittleTinks

What an arsehole!!

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

sounds like it's what you two deserve

candynerka · 46-50, F

explain @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@candynerka You meet and get engaged after 60 days, that shows a nonchalant view on what a relationship is. People who are like that are destined to fail relationship after relationship, because they never grew up.

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