Dating anxiety anyone?

I see a pretty girl. I don't see a ring. A voice says "go for it. What is the worst she can say? No? That's the same answer as if you do nothing." Me: ok, I'll ask her for dinner. Before I can even move, another voice says "Dude, are you really gonna put her through this. I know you own a mirror. Do you honestly think she woke up this morning hoping for .......YOU to come in to her life? Walk away. She's better off without you anyway." But by then I've been staring at her for 10 seconds. Now she thinks I'm a psychopath stalking her. I'll just leave.

A month later I come in. I see her. I smile as I walk by. She doesn't even acknowledge my existence. Yep, she hates me. Never come here again.

Am I the only one who has these things happen to me? Is it just anxiety? Do I really scare people? Or is it all paranoia that I'm not good enough for anybody?

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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

the best way to alleviate this sort of stress is to not look too fAR AHEAD. if you talk to a girl its not to have sex,become her boyfriend or even ask her out, you talk to a girl because you want to talk to her,you say hello with no other intention then to say hello. so your first objective is simple, say "hi, how are you?" , you're just saying hello to someone, that's all.your stress comes in because you havent spoken to her yet and you are already thinking of "you to come in her life", thats too much pressure on yourself, you're not trying to enter her life, you,re saying hello to some random person.

Somewhereovertherainbow · 46-50, F

You’re not alone, many people have doubts when it comes to making a move, we always second guess ourselves...

SW-User

Just go for it dude.
So if she rejects you?
The more you get used to rejection the easier it is to just take a chance.
Besides you could die tomorrow or regret doing it at all.

SW-User

@SW-User The rest of your thoughts are just lies trying to convince yourself not to take the risk

RebeccaJP · 36-40, F

I have anxiety too, and I’m constantly aware of how I look to people out in public. I have to remind myself though that I don’t really know what people are thinking; it could be good, bad, or they might be completely indifferent to me!! In your case that girl probably didn’t even see you. If you ask her out and she says no, will it really be that bad? It doesn’t seem like she’s someone you actually know, just someone you come across every now and then. However, if she says yes to you asking her out, you could have a really great time, maybe have a relationship out of it, or at the least it will give you confidence to try it again with another girl.

SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M

Yeah that’s anxiety. You’re freezing up and people are interpreting it the wrong way.

ScarletWitch · 31-35, F

I mean, you had a better chance 20 years ago.

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1Dogma · F

@ScarletWitch 😱🤭

SW-User

@ScarletWitch that's pretty rude

Bobby1123422 · M

@ScarletWitch 20 years ago I was unemployed, 100lbs heavier, living in my parent's house doing everything I knew how to take care of my sick mother while my father traveled for business to pay her medical bills. Every woman I met just wanted to know where I work, how much I make per year, how much my car costs, and how much i have in the bank. A few years ago my mom passed and that's when my dad started going down hill. He finally gave up and recently killed himself. My whole life I've been taking care of the people who raised me. Now I don't know how to start my life as a single man. After my dad died I lost 100 lbs, I have a job making $100 per day, but I completely skipped over that whole beginning part of adulthood. I wouldn't trade my parent's health for a woman that might not stick around anyway. But you are right. 20 years ago if my parents were healthy, I would definitely have a better chance.

Lilnonames · F

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