Is it wrong to want a partners social media password to confirm infidelity? (Please read)

@MasterofNone when I ask questions he’s very defensive, so that won’t get me anywhere.

But I agree with you.

@Mrowe718 I know it's hard to leave without evidence. That'll always make you ask 'what if....'. But hey that's the hard part.

That’s the thing, people always think they have a reason to justify what would otherwise not be ok. My exes thought they had ‘good reason’. Even after there was nothing in there I Which I can say, because they were my accounts and I know what I was and wasn’t doing Lo) they still manage to twist phrase or a joke as ‘proof’ they had right to be suspicious. Upon hindsight, I should’ve just broken up with them the moment they demanded my passwords out of self-respect, but that seemed like an admission of guilt.

In your case, if you’re seeing a lot of obvious red flags that his behavior is shady then you should just end it because whether he’s guilty or not, the way he conducts himself makes you miserable. Bare minimum, that’s a sign you’re not a good match. Myself for example, I will never again date a guy who is uncomfortable with people having platonic friends of the opposite sex. It’s not necessarily that I’m right and they’re wrong, but we have incompatible values in what we think is acceptable, so it would never harmoniously work.

At least if you end it without rummaging through his stuff then you can walk away from this relationship not looking like the crazy ex. For example, when I was younger I went through a boyfriend’s Facebook. My suspicions were correct and I left him, but even though I was right I still have to be accountable for my own actions that I’d let things get so absurd I became ‘that person who read their boyfriend’s DMs”. There’s no winners in that situation even though I was proven right. Would’ve been far better if I had trusted my gut about his behavior and left that relationship graciously, maturely..

@Mrowe718

@DamnFeelz I agree with you, 100%. Bowing out gracefully is far better than letting insecurities get the best of me, I can’t deny that I want to badly just for myself, but it won’t make me feel any better.

It won’t.. and even if you turn out to be right, you’ll still feel tarnished, less dignified. Think about it like this. In your next relationship eventually you guys will talk about your previous relationships. Do you want to explain to your next future boyfriend about how you went through your ex’s accounts? Even if you explain your whole side of things and the new guy tries to be understanding, you still look bad. @Mrowe718

@ThePerfectUsername I agree with you but I’m pretty sure he’s cheating, even if he’s flirting and leading his way into it, it’s there in those messages. I wouldn’t feel the need to want to have his password if there was literally no reason. A woman’s intuition is a beautiful thing, and when there’s nothing going on, we know. But when something is wrong, we feel it. If we can’t see it? That’s the need for tangible evidence.

The evidence would come out soon enough anyway if your intuition is right and you just left him based on that. We don't always get proof of wrongdoing. Sometimes all we can do is act on the way a person make us feel. If they make us feel good we stay, if they make us feel bad we leave. @Mrowe718

@CountScrofula I have loads of reasons, including the fact that he flirts with women in my presence, one can only imagine what happens in private. He also keeps his phone face down sometimes when we are together, and if I’m sleep, he quickly x’s out whatever he’s looking at as soon as I made a sudden movement...

@Mrowe718 Yeah that's reasonable suspicion. I'm sorry.

@SW-User exactly. I just need that extra confirmation. The truth can be painful and that’s what we need sometimes to walk away and never turn back, versus just having a “feeling” something isn’t right.

@Mrowe718 That’s right because no proof would drive you nuts wondering “am I really sure about this?”....keep a close watch but don’t allow him to know. You’ll see proof soon... He will slip up!

@330GTC exactly. That’s another thing. My safety... it’s super important.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit I agree. If he wanted to see mine he would be more than free to do so. I have nothing to hide. Evidently, he does.

@Mrowe718 so you have a choice tell him he has to show you... knowing he probably won’t and then ask again and again etc or stop asking, trust your gut and leave him. The choice is yours