The act of "caring" or "giving" is not meant to be for the reward. If it is true in nature, it is because one has a genuine need to help, or care or give to another. So the other persons lack of an appropriate response to the care, love or help given, in hindsight speaks volumes on the support that they likely need.
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BlueMuse · F
@Unsatisfiedstace you had it at "no expectations". The second that we as people expect something, be it a reaction, gesture, comment or such, we leave ourselves open to disappointment. All that you can do in this life, is what is right by your moral code. If that is helping someone, then do it. If it is looking the other way then do that. As you said " We are all so different", and we are, we all have are own code. We just can't expect others to share it.
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@BlueMuse 🙏 thank you.
BlueMuse · F
Anytime :)
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
I sometimes find myself wondering why, especially if they seemed to care for a long time and then suddenly changed. And, ironically, this sometimes makes me think about them even more.
I liked what BlueMuse said about giving without the expectation of getting anything back. I think I used to be able to do that, but something happened to me last year, when I was struggling and found myself in need of some support. When someone gives you lots of support, for a long time, and then suddenly withdraws it, that can really leave a person bewildered, and it can take a long time to let that go.
Having said that, I don't know if the caring is a waste of time or not. I think that remains to be seen.
I liked what BlueMuse said about giving without the expectation of getting anything back. I think I used to be able to do that, but something happened to me last year, when I was struggling and found myself in need of some support. When someone gives you lots of support, for a long time, and then suddenly withdraws it, that can really leave a person bewildered, and it can take a long time to let that go.
Having said that, I don't know if the caring is a waste of time or not. I think that remains to be seen.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@TeresaRudolph71 totally understand my friend....you know i do. Ive been in just that situation myself.still hurting, still reeling, still wondering....amd still caring. Hugs x
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@RubySoo Thank you. Hugs back. 🤗
Coralmist · 41-45, F
I start to retreat. Unless it’s some medical issue why they can’t show care, or tough event they’re going through, I’d feel hurt if I’m the only one caring. I then kind of back away, sometimes fully too. 😞

SW-User
If I care for someone I care more about all those things.
I will distance myself if I find them in some way incompatible.
I will distance myself if I find them in some way incompatible.
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
This is exactly what I'm struggling with. I cared about someone so much, and he said he cared too, but then he retreated. We spoke for over a year, everyday. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under me.
It just sucks. I don't feel like I wasted time or caring, but I miss the friendship. It meant something to me.
It just sucks. I don't feel like I wasted time or caring, but I miss the friendship. It meant something to me.
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@rottenrobi I know this pain. You aren’t alone on that. How long has it been?
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
@Unsatisfiedstace not that long. It's still fresh.
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
@Unsatisfiedstace I'm sorry you know it too. I'm sorry do many people know this pain. It's deep and it makes me second guess myself and wonder things I shouldn't.
Grrrrr... thanks for letting me vent. :)
Grrrrr... thanks for letting me vent. :)
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Those things probably make me care more....which sets me up for a bigger fall.....
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@RubySoo I totally get that.

SW-User
if both parties are honest then there should be no time wasted
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@SW-User Agree!!
AlmostAnAngel · 100+, F
Is all the caring just a waste of time? Yes it was
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@AlmostAnAngel im sure it wasnt to the oerson you cared about. At that time.....your care was needed by them and probably helped them a lot. X
AlmostAnAngel · 100+, F
@RubySoo with you not knowing the situation you could not know
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@AlmostAnAngel no...you are right. I dont know your situation.
Please dont let your experience stop you caring again. Its not always in vain.
Please dont let your experience stop you caring again. Its not always in vain.

SW-User
Leave him / her. I put it bluntly I know.

SW-User
Where are you
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
@SW-User probably at the bar. I don’t come around here much anymore. I thought you left too. How are you?
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 31-35, F
Perhaps with enough time of neglect I may not be able to bear it anymore because they don’t treat me in the way that would have me carry as much love in my heart for them. But in that case I couldn’t allow myself to accept that & stay together it’d be time to realize we should both move on separately so we can maybe find better.