For men loooking for a "nurturing" woman

@FoxyQueen still, what ambellina said does seem like an unfair generalization. The men you're referring to are those of us dealing with all kinds of toxic expectations, various forms of lostness, probs some depression. You know? It's not like men are hard wired to get into dysfunctional relationships, there's just a great deal of unhealthy teachings floating around for emotionally unaware men to fall for

@Sandcastler Amibellina only said that she never said women weren't users, which is a true and complete statement. She also expressed her experiences, which were also a true and complete statement.

It is no different than when you tell someone, "Gosh! I'm tired!" and the other person says, "I was so tired all last week!" It doesn't do anything but create a commonality.

That's all she did.

She (i am assuming) only has intimate relationships with men, so that is going to be her experience. I have only had relationships with men, so my experience is a commonality between her and I.

I shouldn't have to explain how conversations go. These are basic elements. Peterlee decided to take it personally for some weird reason.

Toxic people are everywhere. It isn't based off gender, age, race or anything. It is simply based off people and how they consider other people in their lives. For some, that means growing and shareing. For some it means taking everything they can get out of someone. And then there is every spot along the spectrum because people are a myriad of things.

My original post was because I see a lot of men posting how they want a "nurturing" woman, but can't seem to find one. Having someone who is nurturing isn't something that just happens. It is something that develops over time with trust, security and love. But men who claim they can't find that really need to look at themselves and see what they are offering. Is it equitable for what they are wanting? Probably not if they haven't found the woman they are looking for.

That is literally all I eas saying, but in short form because I figured, most people would ve able to figure it out pretty easily, or ask questions before making assumptions.

@peterlee True, but it is what we do with that hurt that makes us who we are. We can continue to be bitter about it, or we can take each person at face value and see if we can do better for ourselves and others.

@FoxyQueen True, some of us handle this better than others.

Children have often to witness this too.

@val70 Morality is a personal choice and morality is subjective, depending on each person. It is why it is so difficult to legislate because everyone has varying degrees of morality.

@FoxyQueen Love God and love your neighbour as yourself isn't that hard though

@val70 True, but if you need a god to make you be a good person, then you probably aren't a good person. You should be good to others because that is your inclination, not because you're afraid of consequences.

@Nunlover As long as it is the way she needs and not just the way you want to give.

@Northwest Agreed, hut it happens way too often

@FoxyQueen Some people may be "forced" to remain in an unbalanced relationship, but those who don't, should bolt at the very first sign of being taken advantage of.

In a balanced relationship, partners lean on each other, but don't advantage.

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran
1883 –1931

Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of your be alone,
Even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

@FoxyQueen That we can indeed 😊🤗❤

@NativePortlander1970 I always feel inclined to say to men who say they have been used, "Let's use each other for better!" But that always sounds so forward lol! But honestly, if we know how to give, it makes sense to me to match up with someone else who knows how to give to create something better. 🤷‍♀

@FoxyQueen I completely agree, relationships should be 100% give/give, I never felt comfortable taking without it meaning something first.