What do you do when your wife puts you in the "friend zone"

I tried it for many years and in the end I decided I was too young still to be put out to pasture so it didn’t work for me. I begged him to work with me over it but he had no inclination to do so. I know I was worth better so I moved on and filed for divorce.

If she isn't upholding the role of wife, maybe it's time for a title change.
To begin with, do you still treat her like your wife, with all the rights and privileges that come with that title? Try treating her like a roommate and see what happens. She might not realize how good she has it.

Having said all of this...check yourself to make sure you didn't stop acting like a good husband and she hasn't already beaten you to the punch by beginning to remove your husband privileges.

work out, hard 😠

Sounds like it's time for a conversation.

You know for a marriage to work. You have to be best friends, not just lovers.

Show her you’re not taking it. And you act as a husband regardless. Loving. Etc.

Have you considered couples therapy to work through this?

Plan on leaving.

Do you have kids?

Plan B

i remind myself i'm not "married"

When she does that, it's over! You have gone past the point of no return.
The End.