Asking for advice. It's been close to two months since she broke up with me But I'm still in...

Mamapolo2016 · F Best Comment

Inasmuch as you can - treat her like any attractive woman you were in a committee meeting with. Friendly and approachable but not mooning and all calf-eyed.

If she has any desire to come back, she'll make it clear.

That way you keep your self-respect AND keep the door open.

But if she does make a move, I would have to understand why she left in the first place before I made any decisions.

SW-User

Ok, this may be an unpopular opinion but here it goes. Get some self respect. She left you and you still have the door open? She had her chance and ditched you. Give your presence to an individual that values it. You can be cordial with her and still move on. Also stop comparing other women to your ex, I don't imagine you'd take it too well if women compared you to their previous relationships. Enjoy them for who they are, if they fit into your life, good, if they don't, keep looking but never go back to an individual that trashed you.

Adstar · 56-60, M

Never ever chase a woman who has dumped you.. It just makes you look more pathetic in her eyes.. If a woman dumps you just say ok and good bye and never contact her again.. She has made it clear that she thinks you're not good enough for her, that she thinks she can do better.. But you can still have some self respect and walk away..

Yeah it can hurt real bad for a time.. But time is the cure and it is quicker if you make a total break from her..

SW-User

By the way the thing she did that you mentioned in the comments is the PP trick. Pleasure Pain or Push Pull trick. Look it up. Basically in order to get someone deeply attached to you, one would give you a dose of pleasure (you said she told you she loves you) then pulls away (she dumps you just days or weeks after telling you she loves you). This makes you insecure and unsure of yourself. It leaves you wounded and because you're in so much pain, you want nothing more than for the individual inflicting this pain on you to take it away. You need that pleasure back. You basically behave as an addict needing a fix. Real sinister stuff. Don't for a second think your 'girl' isn't capable of such a thing simply because you're in love. Do not allow yourself to be played that way my dude.

HootyTheNightOwl

Stop it all... Two months isn't that long. It took me at least four to reach the point where I felt able to try love again after a break up - and, even then I wasn't properly over it.

You want self respect... by leaving the door open for an ex who walked out on you??? I tried that approach myself - and, by the time that he came back, my life had moved on... which screwed me up emotionally for a while.

The most respectful thing that you can do for yourself is to try and disconnect from her emotionally - at least, that way, you have the chance of actually being able to see how someone else might feel about you.

ExperienceDLT · M

She dumped you why the hell would you want her back anyway move on

Fluffybull · F

She broke up with you for a reason. Don't keep hoping, get on with your life, you may not be ready to date someone else but have a social life, try and have fun. It takes time to heal.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

Tbh the best thing you can do is thrive and improve. Show her you're fine without her and maybe start working out and doing new things. It's attractive and if it doesn't work in that way then you're doing better and moving on.