I am in the dark place

I feel this and am very sorry you’re in that state. It displaces you in a way. It’s something that makes you feel alien in your own body. I don’t write about it either or breathe it into life if I can help it because it makes it too real. And to feel that on top of everything else. It’s just too much sometimes.

I wish I had answers for you. When I’m in a weakened state, I try to disconnect from the depression, the anxiety, the helplessness the best I can through a ton of distractions and flat out refusing to acknowledge it exists, but those beasts make sure they’re not forgotten. They have their ways about them and just when you’re nice and settled in the okay state you’ve created for yourself, they hit you in the gut or sweep your legs out from under you reminding you that safe is an illusion. It’s heartbreaking and so very exhausting. I do know to truly lessen their power is to take them on at their source. Not everyone is in a place to take that war on though. So until that moment comes it’s all about getting from one breath to the next. One minute to the next. That’s what I focus on achieving and it gets me by for the most part. Until it doesn’t. That’s when I know it’s time to make myself go into the depths. I give that darkness all of my focus and shut the door on any extra outside weight, and I sit there with it being unafraid of it. Because all it is…is me. It’s the wounded me and it’s dying for attention. That’s why it’s coming forth so powerfully. So I give it attention. Even if it’s just sitting with it. Acknowledging it exists so it’ll be less prone to act out. At its core, it’s not a means to defeat you…it’s a means for you to learn how to heal yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself, imperfections and all. Give it the attention you can and then use your strength to leave it. Because it doesn’t get to steal all of your time and energy. You have a life to live in the light outside of that darkness. And you deserve to live it.


That’s a lot of words about my experience with it and I apologize for that. I really wanted to let you know that even though everyone is different in their journey, you’re not alone in what you’re feeling. All of this can be ignored, except this last part. Keep it with you.

Be patient with yourself and most importantly, be giving to the you that’s deep within hurting. It’s been hurting for some time and has let it’s lostness turn into the only thing it knows. Find it when you can and hold its hand to let it know it’s not alone. That you’re not alone and that you can and will heal from the things we don’t like to speak of. And in case it’s been forgotten…You’re stronger than you think.

Sweetie it’s a struggle and we are in information overload right now. You need to unplug from the news for a while. Just live in the moment and try to focus on what’s around you, not what’s being shoved at us.

If it helps at all, I’ve had to do this very thing. It isn’t hiding from reality. It’s taking time to focus your mind on your well.

I honestly feel for you having to go through this and I'm sure it's not the first time you have. We all deal with depression in our own ways. Each of us is hit by it differently. I wish I had words of wisdom that could just turn it around for you, but even the things I do are temporary.

I find that using distraction helps me get through things that I can't control or face to do anything about. It's not always easy for us to handle and most times it's our own minds turning something into more. I use computer games that make me focus, I use my art to express the feelings and thoughts...my dark art as it's come to be called. I draw, paint and even sculpt in clay to get it out. I do tend to write it sometimes, as a way to vent, but even then I don't always go into details. I'm sure if anyone were to read some of my writings, I'd be put away.

Finding something that you like or can focus on might help, but again, we're all different. What works for me, might not for you. All I can say is, you're not alone. Even that sounds hollow because I've felt alone quite often. Being able to come here and share with others, you might get some ideas on how to deal with these thoughts and feelings in a positive way.

I don't know if you're seeing anyone about this or taking anything, but I know I fought it a long time by myself. Not wanting to look weak....or so I thought that's how it would make me look. I've had good and bad therapists, I've dumped my share of psychiatrists as well and finally found a few that really listened and helped guide me. Yes, I am taking meds for it too. Hate to admit it, but it's helped. Do I still fight it? Of course, but I've found what works for me, most times and use it when I can.

I truly hope you can find what helps you, what gets you through, what distracts you or aids you in your fight. As I said before, you're not alone and I'm sure there are people that have answered you here that would be happy to lend an ear or shoulder in your times of need. If I can, I will.

Please, take care, be safe and do what you need to, to get through this. 🤗 I hope this made sense and might have something helpful within it. My best to you.

Concentrate on happy memories, surround yourself with positive people and thoughts.

Talk to someone. ❤🙏

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/4338389-Its-Real-Its-just-how-it-is-Ill-just-have-to-deal

https://similarworlds.com/music/therapy-for-soul/3104482-Ill-be-your-Guardian-Ill-be-your-protector-Your

https://similarworlds.com/8890348-I-Sometimes-Say-Im-Okay-Even-When-Im-Not/3556039-Me-Shooting-from-the-hip-I-know-depression-I-know

Everything here is true. (Except the "in love" parts... my heart will always belong to Her. But my words just might make a difference. 🤗🌹I truly hope so.🤗😇🙏

Think about things you like thst make you happy. Wont take long

Do you know the trigger for these feelings?
If so, can you separate yourself from the event or person?

#NotYet. My battle cry against mental illness. I love you, my beautiful friend. 🖤🤗

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/3086882-Not-yet-Not-yet-Some-times-I-dont-even-want-to

🖤🤗

❤️❤️❤️

Remember that it's the world that's gone crazy. It only feels like this because you've remained sane.

I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Can you do zoom call with your therapist? I am sending light and love to you so you can feel better.