How might you feel?

I recently explained to a good friend from 30 years ago, how I've been wanting to meet up with her but have not due to anxiety. We were best friend s aged 4-11 and when I moved an hour away at age 11, we lost touch. She found me years ago on FB and offered twice to meet up but I'm really nervous. I'm not who I was as a kid. I now have crippling PTSD and feel so broken. I don't know how I can really be a good friend. It doesn't help that another friend ditched me a few years ago after many years of friendship, Bec I wasn't moving up in life.

After I explained my anxiety, which I NEVER share with anyone IRL, she did put a reaction hug emoji but no text back to it. While I know some might not know what to say , I felt kind of low after revealing a huge part of me. Either she didn't know what to say or didn't believe me?
How might you feel?

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HumanEarth · F

You know me quite well and my personality. I would be the one pushing to meet up with a old friend. I have done this countless times with old friendships and they worked out great.

I usually pick a place where there is not a lot a people. I would want to make sure you are comfortable as well. The key thing is letting you friend know everything and open up to them. Sure it's going to be hard. I really do understand that.

But you want them to understand how much you have changed over the years as well. You have to open up or risk loosing another old friend.

I hate to be blunt like this, but it's true

But as you know I am very out going and put myself out there type of person. (But I cant stand seeing my own reflection in the mirror or seeing my own photo of myself...Go figure that's crazy)

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@HumanEarth I appreciate that. ✨

Younameit · F

She didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. On a side note, a good friend won’t mind about your traumas, ptsds , etc. , they will accept you as you are. You need to trust more in the good nature of people. People who reject others because they struggle with something like anxiety, shouldn’t be in your life in the first place.
A good friend will understand, accept, and not push boundaries, which exactly what she did. She didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable any further and withdrew.
Now it’s up to

you

resume that connection. The fact that she added you on FB 30 years later means that you were an important part of her life and that she misses you.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Younameit That's true, she did say prior to me writing about my anxiety, that I am one of her oldest friends. Thank you 🌺

Lostpoet · M

I think she probably didn't know what to say. You should meet her and you already told her that you have PTSD so if you act out of character she'll know it's just that. You have to make steps though in life to be happier. Even if it causes you a little pain go have fun.

MellyMel22 · F

In my opinion I’d say she didn’t know what to say. I can be wrong though.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@MellyMel22 Thanks Mel, I hope so. I've liked many of her posts but for last few years she does not like any of mine. It makes me feel low. But, she did give to my aunt's Gofund about 7 years ago, which was so kind (she had a rare disease, in which she later passed).

MellyMel22 · F

@CoralmistSorry for your loss ❤

I think some people just don’t really react to posts at all. I think it’s kind of strange.

Musicman · 61-69, M

My guess is she isn't sure what to do or say. Reach out to her and invite her for coffee.

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