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Why is masturbation often seen as such a negative thing?

Poll - Total Votes: 58
It's horrible and dirty in men
It's acceptable in men but let's keep it vanilla
It's sexy and body confident in men, anything goes
It's horrible and dirty in women
It's acceptable in women but let's keep it vanilla
It's sexy and body confident in women, anything goes
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You may vote on multiple answers, up to 2.
It's seen as a dirty horrible thing. The jokes about crunchy socks in teenage boys bedrooms and old men knocking one of the wrist, having a sticky stash of porn when it was just magazines that were available, never seem to get old.

The insult that someone is a wanker too. It carries a kind of insinuation that the wanker involved is some how sad, pathetic or lacks intelligence and self control.

But if you're on your own, or you're with a partner who's sex drive doesn't match yours or they lost it completely. What are you supposed to do? Just be horny and frustrated?

What about women who openly admit to doing it? Somehow it doesn't seem women are judged as much. Maybe it's even seen as a bit sexy if you're a woman.

Or maybe it depends on how? Is there a different perception of a woman using her fingers to pleasure herself than there is using toys and properly fucking herself with them?

What about anal masturbation, using nipple clamps, enemas or self spanking?

I mean, it doesn't really matter either way. I'm still going to do it but I was just thinking about the way it's seen. What do you honestly think about masturbation?
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I think that it's been tainted by the negative aspects of its use such that it comes (excuse the pun) with social stigma. When it is a natural and largely private part of your life then it rarely gets any airtime, good or bad. When it becomes a mechanism for predation, a device for invading privacy or threatening decency then it takes on a more sinister and seedy element. It has indeed become those things in many cases. Furthermore, for a lot of online men it becomes their whole personality. It's all they are here for and it's so in your face that it loses any kind of legitimacy.

I'm all for people being open about their sexuality and there is no shame in masturbating but I think it's a subject that doesn't really need or benefit from further discussion. It's been done to death and so it best retains legitimacy and dignity by keeping it largely private. The person who discusses it the least has the appearance of being the most justified and dignified. That's what they internet has done for us, it's made the explicit seem like a threat and that's because it usually is.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@ostfuidctyvm what about those that want to discuss and join in, they just love talking about what they like and are interested in what other people like. I think both have their place. ☺
@PatientlyWaiting25 Again, I agree that they do. I'm just saying that it's rare that a public discussion can be had about it without it being corrupted by those with ulterior motives. That's my point. The reason that it has become stigmatised is because the topic brings out all the weirdos. It's a bit like if every time you had a cup of coffee there were five guys who appeared from nowhere flashing their dicks, you soon might feel a bit uncomfortable about coffee 🤣
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@ostfuidctyvm lol but I still suspect they would sell a lot more of it 😂
Degbeme · 70-79, M
I do it because it`s the only sex I get now. My wife decided she no longer wanted sex and even told me I should masturbate. So I do.
Winston335 · 61-69, M
It’s healthy and enjoyable
WormMan · 56-60, M
Honestly I think its a natural and healthy thing to do as long as you are not injuring yourself doing it. Fingers, hands, toys, anal, nipple etc. what ever helps brings you the most pleasure doesn't matter. I know there is social stigma related to it, most people wont admit to it but its better to release that sexual tension then keeping it bottled up.
1490wayb · 56-60, M
beats spending hundreds dating and it is a mis-match. also safest form of sexual fulfillment. more fun when chatting with another!!
Religión and patriarchy
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
@greensnacks Sums up my answer. The stigma is created to exert control.
Waveney · M
I would say every single adult has done it at some point in their lives.

Every Single Adult.

So what's the problem?
AdmiralPrune · 46-50, M
Just wash your hands please.
WasEP · 51-55, M
It is a natural instinct in men and women, some more that others and absolutely nothing wrong with doing it for one’s pleasure
KatyO83 · 41-45, F
It is all steeped in historical prejudices.

For a long time women were definitely not expected to do it and even when doctors offered treatment for hysteria the doctor performed the pelvic massage to bring about the relief. Only when a doctor wanted to give his hand a rest did the first vibrator get invented.

I think it's healthy for either sex to masturbate and to use hands,toys,etc as they want to.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@KatyO83 well they got paid for every treatment too and I'm guessing those treatments were popular!
KatyO83 · 41-45, F
@PatientlyWaiting25 I vote they come back 🤭
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@KatyO83 below is a link to a historical medical fetish story I wrote. There's elements of hysteria treatment in part two. I don't know if you will enjoy. It is quite extreme fetish xx

https://similarworlds.com/fetish/5457808-Victorian-mentoring-for-wayward-girls-Part-one
pdockal · 56-60, M
Society is too blame for the stigma (religion also but not going to go down that rabbit hole)
BDSM is a whole other topic as you also touched on that

You just be you and I'll be me & hopefully our fun & kinks will align and who cares what others think
Northwest · M
You think this is the case in 2026?

You also may want to do add masturbation as part of sex for a couple, not because one of them could not get the job done?

I get that some people may not want to talk about it, but things have changed.
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
@Northwest I think it's getting more acceptable but people still hold a lot of uncomfortable feelings surrounding it.

I didn't include it as a couple because I think that's just part of sex and wasn't relevant, for me I was always more comfortable doing that as part of a couple than I am by myself.
Northwest · M
@PatientlyWaiting25

I think that's just part of sex and wasn't relevant, for me I was always more comfortable doing that as part of a couple than I am by myself.

Of course. If you think of two types of sex: solo or with one, or more, people.

Foreplay and and any kind of "play," is part of sex, and I include masturbation as part of sexual play, for a couple, and I am less inclined to go solo.
GinPanda · 26-30, F
It is a healthy normal practice stigmatized still in my circles.
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
I think masturbation is completely normal and healthy. I guess the stigma maybe comes from religion, or maybe being seen as someone that cannot get another partner, not sure where it comes from.
Teslin · M
Personally, to each their own. But I agree with you comments on how people are raised to think it is bad, evil, wrong.
AngelaR80 · 46-50, F
As others say. Religion and patriarchy are why it's got the stigma it has.

Women shouldn't as they should be happy with what their man gives them. Men shouldn't because they should be good enough lovers to not need any more.
Waveney · M
@AngelaR80 religion takes everything your DNA naturally wants to do, and makes it wrong

 
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