Anyone with past trauma/PTSD

Do you find it hard to figure out what you WANT in Life? I think I got so used to barely scraping by, barely surviving day to day , that I did accept anything. Even a bad toxic environment, low treatment from friend or family. Just accepted it not to rock the boat and try to have even a shred of peace.
Do you find it hard to dream big? Take risks etc? I feel I barely deserved anything in life due to abuse, so any really GOOD thing in life seems unattainable. 😢

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Ananke · 26-30, F

Yes. I am terrified of taking risks. I don't like to do anything that draws attention to myself. I have passed up on various opportunities in life because of it.

I have had a lot of trouble lately figuring out what I really want. I have been too disabled to work for the past 3 years. It is really disheartening. I find many work environments to be unfriendly not just to my disabilities but unfriendly in general. The service industry in particular is toxic as hell. Customers/patients/etc just get to abuse the hell out of staff and nothing is done about it. Many industries don't give workers what they need to succeed or don't even treat them like people. It can be hard to see a future where I am both working and happy.