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Struggles & Identity > Mental Issues

Mildly AdultUpset

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I scare myself

All day thoughts go through my head of different ways to hurt myself, it’s consuming, it’s all I think about.

Yesterday I broke my own arm. It’s still agony, but the thoughts haven’t stopped.

I think about boiling a kettle of water and pouring it over my head. Heating up my curling iron and just holding it against my skin.

I know it’s fucked up. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I just want it to end

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SW-User

I honestly don't think that you should be alone for any amount of time where you have access to anything unsafe. You should probably be sectioned, I can't see any other way that you would have a reasonable chance of being free from harm in the short term.

DeadSophie · F

@SW-User I’m already not allowed to be alone with anything, I’m watched 24/7 and I’ve had anything that could be used to hurt myself taken off me. It’s part of the conditional release from hospital

SW-User

@DeadSophie I wish that it wasn't like this for you. Perhaps the zombie kind of meds would be better right now. Perhaps a rest from yourself is needed.

DeadSophie · F

@SW-User I’d like that

CestManan · 46-50, F

When we are young and do things that cause scars, whether intentional actions or accidents, it seems like no big deal.

Thing is when we get older we really do not like our scars. Partially because everything else starts to look bad and we try to cling to our youthful looks.

I don't know, I personally avoid self harm

DeadSophie · F

@CestManan I’m not doing it because I want scars, you really think someone who breaks their own arm deliberately is worrying about what their skin might look like one day?

CestManan · 46-50, F

@DeadSophie Well, alright, you have a point.

Applepiedom · 56-60, M

Yes please get help

DeadSophie · F

@Applepiedom I’m trying to

Applepiedom · 56-60, M

@DeadSophie how are you doing?

ExperienceDLT · M

Hopefully these thoughts wont last

DeadSophie · F

@ExperienceDLT they’re definitely not fun

ExperienceDLT · M

@DeadSophie try to resist them

PhoenixPhail · M

I truly understand. I know that kind of pain, first hand.

V00doo

From what I know, you go through phases, and for how long I've known you, this is the most extreme. You've had a tough year. Have they stopped your help?

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DeadSophie · F

@Tastyfrzz they only do that as a last resort and if I’m sectioned

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@DeadSophie "You can be sectioned if your own health or safety are at risk, or to protect other people. There are different types of sections, each with different rules to keep you in hospital." Sure sounds like you'd qualify.

DeadSophie · F

@Tastyfrzz I do qualify, I’m trying g to fucking avoid it!!

Lilnonames · F

Please don't do these things sophie

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Lilnonames · F

@DeadSophie but one positive a day is a step in right direction,, instead of dead Sophie change to sophies trying. If I'm bugging u just tell me

DeadSophie · F

@Lilnonames you’re not

PhoenixPhail · M

@DeadSophie It's [i]absolutely[/i] not that simple.

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