I scare myself

All day thoughts go through my head of different ways to hurt myself, it’s consuming, it’s all I think about.

Yesterday I broke my own arm. It’s still agony, but the thoughts haven’t stopped.

I think about boiling a kettle of water and pouring it over my head. Heating up my curling iron and just holding it against my skin.

I know it’s fucked up. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I just want it to end