I scare myself

All day thoughts go through my head of different ways to hurt myself, it’s consuming, it’s all I think about.

Yesterday I broke my own arm. It’s still agony, but the thoughts haven’t stopped.

I think about boiling a kettle of water and pouring it over my head. Heating up my curling iron and just holding it against my skin.

I know it’s fucked up. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I just want it to end

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V00doo

From what I know, you go through phases, and for how long I've known you, this is the most extreme. You've had a tough year. Have they stopped your help?

DeadSophie · F

@V00doo no, it’s still there. Daily out patient visits, twice a week psychotherapy, weekly psychiatrist, meds and I’m on suicide watch 24/7 as part of the conditional release from hospital. It’s just shit

V00doo

@DeadSophie Maybe they need to change the approach. I dont know. I hope you find something that works.

DeadSophie · F

@V00doo I wish they would just let me go

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@DeadSophie They used to offer electroshock therapy to reset the brain. It might help.

DeadSophie · F

@Tastyfrzz they only do that as a last resort and if I’m sectioned

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@DeadSophie "You can be sectioned if your own health or safety are at risk, or to protect other people. There are different types of sections, each with different rules to keep you in hospital." Sure sounds like you'd qualify.

DeadSophie · F

@Tastyfrzz I do qualify, I’m trying g to fucking avoid it!!