How do I know if my BF is really a narcissist?

This is called "Classifying Syndrome" amidst educated people who just find candidates to fit what they read. All you get is what is known as jaundiced eye or prejudice which will only ruin your life and your relationship.

Instead just focus on how his behaviour affects you or concerns you. What matters is how he treats you and how he treats others and whether life with him is smooth or rough and how healthy your interactions are and if you quarrel often..

The only way you'd know if your boyfriend was a narcissist is he was diagnosed by a mental health professional. NPD affects between 0-6% of the general population, so it's very rare. Certainly vastly rarer than Instagram, YouTube and TikTok would have you believe. If your bf was a true narcissist, you'd already be keenly aware of something terribly wrong with him. You could no sooner diagnose kidney disease without a doctor.

We like to apply labels to everything these days. For

There's a list or narcissistic traits (which do not a disease make), including
Sense of self-importance.
Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success.
Entitled.
Can only be around people who are important or special.
Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain.
Arrogant.
Lack empathy.
Must be admired.

These are characteristics. They may exists temporarily, specific or context and in varying levels of intensity and duration. They do [i]not[/i], in and of themselves, indicate narcissism. We like to slap labels on everything these days. Forgetful is ADHD, antisocial is Autism, being immature is Narcissism.

As we teach in mental health, sometimes an a-hole is just an a-hole.

narcissism is a personality disorder. Far as I know the only treatment would be therapy to try to retrain thought processes and behaviors. But you can show a lot of signs of something and not "have" it.. All mental disorders are on a spectrum. (You can be sad but not have depression, anxious but not actually have an anxiety disorder, etc.)

Keep in mind my abnormal psych class was several years ago.

Narcissists can’t be helped. They don’t see anything wrong with being selfish and they will manipulate you so you give them the benefit until you’re completely broken down.

If you feel uneasy, unsure or depleted, then they’ve got you right where they need you to be. Weak and subservient to their crap.

Narcissists can get professional help but it's rare that they admit they need help. If they keep blaming you then they will never seek help or change, they will just enjoy abusing you.

If your boyfriend makes you scared /threatened / if he hurts you

Don't search for a label. He's not good for you. That's all you need to know.

I've know a few people I'd describe as having narcissistic tendencies. I don't think there is a cure. It is just that they lack empathy for other people and don't realize it. They just see people with empathy as weak.

Narcissism cannot be treated effectively by medication but some people manage it with therapy.