How do I know if my BF is really a narcissist?

Whenever I see posts about narcissistic people my bf has all of the qualities. How do I know if he’s really a narcissist? What would he do? I don’t just wanna put a label on him but I think he has it. Is there anything narcissists do to get help? Medication or anything?

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Graylight · 51-55, F

The only way you'd know if your boyfriend was a narcissist is he was diagnosed by a mental health professional. NPD affects between 0-6% of the general population, so it's very rare. Certainly vastly rarer than Instagram, YouTube and TikTok would have you believe. If your bf was a true narcissist, you'd already be keenly aware of something terribly wrong with him. You could no sooner diagnose kidney disease without a doctor.

We like to apply labels to everything these days. For

There's a list or narcissistic traits (which do not a disease make), including
Sense of self-importance.
Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success.
Entitled.
Can only be around people who are important or special.
Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain.
Arrogant.
Lack empathy.
Must be admired.

These are characteristics. They may exists temporarily, specific or context and in varying levels of intensity and duration. They do [i]not[/i], in and of themselves, indicate narcissism. We like to slap labels on everything these days. Forgetful is ADHD, antisocial is Autism, being immature is Narcissism.

As we teach in mental health, sometimes an a-hole is just an a-hole.