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I Battle Depression

Hello me again i haven't felt this bad in a few months i don't know what to do anymore my life seems hopeless i can't see any way for it to get better i keep thinking about it and all i see is myself alone in this house sitting alone in a dark room on my computer wishing it would all stop wishing to die to have my existence erased from everyone's memory so at least my death wouldn't cause anyone any pain if there was a way to do this i would take it right away i only stay because i know what my suicide would do to the people around me so i sit here hoping someone or something would kill me i can't take living anymore it just hurts so dam much i don't know what to do i wish i could trade my life to someone else more deserving more wanting of it than me i don't want to feel like this anymore its so horrible i need it to stop please i just need someone to make it stop i would take whatever torture if it meant i don't have to go another day alone feeling like this no one should have to feel like this all the time
Peaceful · F
Do you have someone in your personal life you can talk to? Have you considered seeing a doctor? Why do you think you feel so depressed. I'm sorry you feel this way.
Confusedasf · 31-35, M
@Peaceful: Mine are at the stage where they have to be taken out not all but a good few i get a sick payment which covers my bills i don't use much so my bills are small and Thank you for taking the time to reply to me
Peaceful · F
@Confusedasf: you can get dental implants. They have come a long way with teeth. But as much as I don't care for meds, I really feel like you need something temporarily to give you a boost.
Confusedasf · 31-35, M
@Peaceful: I've smoke weed it helps for a few hours lets me relax for a bit i won't take meds i just can't end up like that like a zombie but thank you i actually feel a bit better.
Some meds have to be adjusted so you don't feel like a zombie, my friend is on alot of them, it took multiple trys to get it right but she is good now, with that being said, she started going out and doing more things to build her confidence, alot of ppl look at the outside of a person and make judgment about them like that, having your teeth fixed will give you a better feeling of yourself and perhaps you will feel like going out, who knows you might smile at a pretty girl with those new teeth and get a date, I battle depression alot and I know how it feels to be feeling hopeless, the more you think about it the worse it will get. Talk to your friend in the UK but first ask him how he's or she's doing since the grandparent had died, you know that would be the polite thing to do, then you can feel out if you should say anything about your problems, but if they are your friends I'm thinking they won't mind.
Be strong and if you want to talk message me, I'm not on a great deal but I will reply back.

Rick
TheLoveAge · 36-40, F
Hi sweety pie🤗 How are you doing today?
TheLoveAge · 36-40, F
@jewelson29: I guess I'll try to sum it up.

For me depression was being disconnected with myself and of life in general. Not having purpose or meaning. I started exploring my spirituality and began coming back to life. And so to maintain my more positive outlook on life I look for more ways to reinforce my positive disposition and attracting better things into my life. I intentionally look and think positive and so therefore I am. And when I fall off track I come back and stronger than before. I look for meaning and apply it in my life and I like being good to others. I have peace in my life when I am good to my self and others. They may not reciprocate my love or kind gestures, but that's alright. It's beside the point. I just give and I am. There's other stuff too but this is the gist of it. Stay positive as cliche as it is and doing good and knowing there's always something to look forward to. Much love to you💕
Confusedasf · 31-35, M
@TheLoveAge: Hello sorry for not replying earlier i just don't feel like talking to anyone today i haven't spoken to my best friend in a week i miss talking to him i'm afraid if i do i won't be able to hold myself back and i would end up telling him how ive been feeling lately and end up bringing him down aswell i don't want to hurt him i haven't felt this bad in a while at least i had i good thing happen i had a sort of nice dream i had a partner and a baby i was happy in my dream :) but then it got dark next thing i know my partner was in an accident and died i see myself at the accident police tape everywhere i see my partner lying there lifeless and then i start crying next im at her funeral with my kid my friends and family when my son asks me when his mom would wake up I'm there crying and tell him shes not going to the she's in heaven with my mother next im at my bestfriends house and im with my son playing while talking to my bestfriend when my son looks up at me and asks why im crying i hug him and tell him its because im so happy your here and i love u so much he wipes away my tears and tells me he loves me and goes back playing i ask my bestfriend to watch him and i go outside i see myself holding a picture of her crying saying that i miss her and wish she was here angry because she left then i woke up it was nice at the start of the dream i saw what happiness looks like
SW-User
@Confusedasf: Kinda sad dream there. but glad you felt the joy of being with someone who truly loved you and of your own child. And the pain of losing too :(



I saw a dream too, In the one i saw she was a stranger but weirdly i knew her name and felt like i knew her for ages and like I went to kiss her as in my dream i considered her as my gf. Sadly she didn't want to kiss me and someone was saying she wasn't real and the real her is someplace else and so i put my hand on her chest and said some spell (alien language) and told her now you are real. Her eyes got teary, She said she didn't want it like this but want to meet me in real, so i said another spell and undo my spell. She smiled. She was on a bed though throughout that point.

But then dream changed a bit, there were my relatives etc. Then i went back to her again.. saw that she didn't seem like before. I told her that she wasn't the one i met. My heart broke a little. I wanted her bit more. That other girl goes away.

Kinda weird dream. I wish I remembered that name of hers.
Azrael ·
Maybe you should try and get out more. Maybe socializing with people face to face will help. Or maybe try and keep yourself distracted from these thoughts. Just remember that you're strong enough. You'll get through this. 😕
Skelepop666 · 36-40, F
I understand how you feel. Its horrible and wish i could take your pain away.
Here if you need or want someone to talk to or rant at.
Hugs.
SW-User
Same story. 😢 Except there is no one to talk to.
illw84u · 36-40, F

 
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