Alzheimers-My Heart Breaks

I have a friend that i have known since junior high. We never had and still don't have much in common but i respected and loved her and her family. First her grandmother passed from Alzheimers. then her mother passed away from Alzheimers. My friend reached out to me and asked me how i was doing. Pretty good I responded. She said "Well better than me. I have Alzheimers"

It is genetic. Just like a light switch was turned on. I told her i loved her, i will be up to see her in June and asked if i could take her to our high school reunion. She said she didn't know what shape she would be in.

Last night, i talked to her daughter. They are placing her in the psych ward because her meds have caused her body to be out of whack. It hurts my heart.

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PoetryNEmotion · F

It must be horrifying to know one carries that disease. Hopefully the meds will stabilize her. I suggest she mske her will fast as well as get her POA for health care finalized. She is running out of time fast. If she is married, her spouse should get her working on her bucket list. Poor woman. How are you coping?

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akindheart · 61-69, F

@Heartlander true but i am a person of action and i prefer to explore my options

Heartlander · 80-89, M

@akindheart One hidden benefit of participating is that the person gets more attention from the providers, regardless of whether they are on the experimental medicine or placebo, and that has a way of making one more enlightened about the disease and feeling more trust for the provider.

I once participated in a study to test a dry-eye ointment. Over the process of 6 or 7 visits to the clinic I learned more about other ways to relieve the dryness and learned more about the testing process, making me feel more like an insider than an outsider. The eye clinic itself didn't themselves know whether I was getting the real ointment or the placebo. Regardless, it didn't work, but by the end I was more a participator in my own health care.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Heartlander People forget about the placebo aspect. They rhink "trial" and imagine " cure" or hope. People need to be realistic. Trials do provide facts.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

If she knows she has Alzheimer's there is still some cognitivety there (is that a word?).

You don't have to decide on taking her to the reunion until you are there. Just be prepared to retrench if it suddenly turns into a not-so-good idea. Also maybe another friend in addition to yourself to help buffet her from the crowd and assure a safe zone for her. A wheelchair has a way of guaranteeing a safe zone.

People with dementia diseases can experience joy and happiness and a school reunion may serve that end.

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Heartlander · 80-89, M

@akindheart I would think that the potential benefits would be worth the attempt. Nursing homes and psych wards aren't prisons, so the daughter or husband should be able to gain her a few hours away.

Just be prepared to retreat at the last minute, and for bathroom emergencies, or feeding issues, etc. Possibly a staff member from the facility can be bribed to accommodate and go along. Especially if there are potential issues that require trained caregivers.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart Please ask yourself will this reunion benefit her? Will she recognize anyone? Will they scare her? She has changed. People will be shocked. Is this going to traumatize her? June is a long way from now. Sometimes one can get videos of the events. One can put up a poster with her name and former classmates can write messages to her. This in addition to a yearbook can provide some comfort. It is a big trip.

My ex and I used to take my mom in public. Shopping. Getting grain for her chickens that she loved from me. At one point, we could no longer do this. It served no purpose. She did not like being among people. Prople forget it is what brings the effected person peace and familiarity. Routine does that. Until it no longer works.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion she is stuck inside and so i thought she would love the music of our classmates but it depends on what her condition is at that time. everyone deteriorates at a different rate. yes our classmates know she has dementia. i posted it and she was grateful because people reached out to her. the chairman of the event is talking about having a zoom link but he wants people there and not use that as an excuse . we are taking it day by day. her daughter has agreed to accompany her

WillaKissing · 56-60

Damn it.

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WillaKissing · 56-60

@akindheart Awesome! We will have a great day of it.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@WillaKissing i will check with you on which day s is best for you. Friday, Sat and Sun i will be at my reunion but i fly in on June 1st.

WillaKissing · 56-60

@akindheart Going to my calendar now! Hold on.

atlantic59 · 61-69, M

so sorry

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