Alzheimers-My Heart Breaks

I have a friend that i have known since junior high. We never had and still don't have much in common but i respected and loved her and her family. First her grandmother passed from Alzheimers. then her mother passed away from Alzheimers. My friend reached out to me and asked me how i was doing. Pretty good I responded. She said "Well better than me. I have Alzheimers"

It is genetic. Just like a light switch was turned on. I told her i loved her, i will be up to see her in June and asked if i could take her to our high school reunion. She said she didn't know what shape she would be in.

Last night, i talked to her daughter. They are placing her in the psych ward because her meds have caused her body to be out of whack. It hurts my heart.

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PoetryNEmotion · F

It must be horrifying to know one carries that disease. Hopefully the meds will stabilize her. I suggest she mske her will fast as well as get her POA for health care finalized. She is running out of time fast. If she is married, her spouse should get her working on her bucket list. Poor woman. How are you coping?

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion i think she has progressed way past her bucket list. I offered to take her to ourreunion but she is not going to make it. Her daughter said i won't be able to handle her. and her husband? he is dependent on HER. i wonder if her daughter is worried sick about herself.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart Her husbsnd better get his life together. It is his turn to man up. Her daughter should seek a good doctor. There are tests to be done. Some modern meds can slow the process. Her future is full of fear and worry. The future numbers of dementia are staggering. There will be no one to care for the demented. It is horrifying in all aspects.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion i found this study in the paper. it was nationwide. i immediately sent the article to them and she never responded. so i reached out again and she said there was no study in her area...what the heck. i agree with you on all points. apparently they closed the county home that her mother was in.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart A study on dementia? Results? Shut it down? Why? No staff? Things are headed downhill precipitously for the demented. Many are hard to look after. Many are violent. Not my favourite kind of patients nor residents.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion yes there was a study on new meds. they didn't even call. and yes the county shut down the home. I have no idea. i was talking to our reunion chair and he told me it was gone. i guess they are putting them in private nursing homes. she is on medicare so she should be fine. last night her daughter took her to the psych ward and they released her

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart Drug trials are pretty exclusive. New meds need lots of studies. I am talking about the common ones like Aricept and similar. It is beneficial to have progressive doctors. Private nursing homes cost a lot. Better start paying for insurance early. No good news, girl.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion no they were advertising for participants. i guess it is in the early trials. if i were in her shape, i would be begging for help.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart She may be too afraid to do anything. I feel for her. Just let her talk if she wants to. We never know what will happen in life. All the more reason to develop an attitude of gratitude for what we have.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion honestly C. i think she is past that too. i think she has progressed into a haze. it is happening fast.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

@akindheart Those studies aren't always about trying something new. You never know whether you are on the trial medicine or the placebo. Also trials are sometimes done to test dosage or to see if there are adverse reactions. Trials are about offering oneself for experimenting, and in the case of people with dementia, it's someone else making the decision about participating.

Medication and dementia are a difficult combination. A person with dementia can't themselves tell whether the medication is making them better or worse. Nor can the provider in many cases.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Heartlander true but i am a person of action and i prefer to explore my options

Heartlander · 80-89, M

@akindheart One hidden benefit of participating is that the person gets more attention from the providers, regardless of whether they are on the experimental medicine or placebo, and that has a way of making one more enlightened about the disease and feeling more trust for the provider.

I once participated in a study to test a dry-eye ointment. Over the process of 6 or 7 visits to the clinic I learned more about other ways to relieve the dryness and learned more about the testing process, making me feel more like an insider than an outsider. The eye clinic itself didn't themselves know whether I was getting the real ointment or the placebo. Regardless, it didn't work, but by the end I was more a participator in my own health care.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Heartlander People forget about the placebo aspect. They rhink "trial" and imagine " cure" or hope. People need to be realistic. Trials do provide facts.