Alzheimers-My Heart Breaks

I have a friend that i have known since junior high. We never had and still don't have much in common but i respected and loved her and her family. First her grandmother passed from Alzheimers. then her mother passed away from Alzheimers. My friend reached out to me and asked me how i was doing. Pretty good I responded. She said "Well better than me. I have Alzheimers"

It is genetic. Just like a light switch was turned on. I told her i loved her, i will be up to see her in June and asked if i could take her to our high school reunion. She said she didn't know what shape she would be in.

Last night, i talked to her daughter. They are placing her in the psych ward because her meds have caused her body to be out of whack. It hurts my heart.

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Heartlander · 80-89, M

If she knows she has Alzheimer's there is still some cognitivety there (is that a word?).

You don't have to decide on taking her to the reunion until you are there. Just be prepared to retrench if it suddenly turns into a not-so-good idea. Also maybe another friend in addition to yourself to help buffet her from the crowd and assure a safe zone for her. A wheelchair has a way of guaranteeing a safe zone.

People with dementia diseases can experience joy and happiness and a school reunion may serve that end.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Heartlander that was my hope to show her kindness and i knew she would enjoy the music but when her daughter said she was going to the psych ward and that i could not handle her, i worried. plus i have to think of the other guests too so the daughter is coming with her provided she can

Heartlander · 80-89, M

@akindheart I would think that the potential benefits would be worth the attempt. Nursing homes and psych wards aren't prisons, so the daughter or husband should be able to gain her a few hours away.

Just be prepared to retreat at the last minute, and for bathroom emergencies, or feeding issues, etc. Possibly a staff member from the facility can be bribed to accommodate and go along. Especially if there are potential issues that require trained caregivers.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@akindheart Please ask yourself will this reunion benefit her? Will she recognize anyone? Will they scare her? She has changed. People will be shocked. Is this going to traumatize her? June is a long way from now. Sometimes one can get videos of the events. One can put up a poster with her name and former classmates can write messages to her. This in addition to a yearbook can provide some comfort. It is a big trip.

My ex and I used to take my mom in public. Shopping. Getting grain for her chickens that she loved from me. At one point, we could no longer do this. It served no purpose. She did not like being among people. Prople forget it is what brings the effected person peace and familiarity. Routine does that. Until it no longer works.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@PoetryNEmotion she is stuck inside and so i thought she would love the music of our classmates but it depends on what her condition is at that time. everyone deteriorates at a different rate. yes our classmates know she has dementia. i posted it and she was grateful because people reached out to her. the chairman of the event is talking about having a zoom link but he wants people there and not use that as an excuse . we are taking it day by day. her daughter has agreed to accompany her