The Dam Finally Broke……

I cried and cried all day yesterday, trying to get rid of my outward and internal pain. I was recently diagnosed with Boderline Personaliity Disorder. I was first diagnosed with Bipolar, but, BPD mimics bipolar. Very tough to diagnose.

All my life I was told it was a weakness to cry. I would always try and hide it because I was so ashamed. I haven’t really cried in a very long time until yesterday! It felt like all my emotions were pouring out on the floor. It hurt, but, I let the tears flow. I’m very drained at this point. I let go of a lot yesterday. At least I think I did. Who knows…..it’s likely to build again! But, I’ve got to try and let go more often.

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MoonlightLullaby Best Comment

I can't imagine what you go through, but I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Although it may sound insensitive or cold, your tears weren't in vain. Instead, look at this as growth because you let it go. Its important that we process all of our feelings vs putting up a facade We need to cry. Its healthy. Holding back is more detrimental to our psyche. They're like a soul cleanser.

For what its worth though, you have already made extreme progress, especially when it comes to anger. You're becoming absolutely badass in the handling of your new diagnosis and navigating your emotions. I also applaud you for the courage to write something so vulnerable.

💖 & 💡 plus some 🤗's

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SW-User

@MoonlightLullaby you deserve it and no need to thank me!! I am honored to be your best friend!! 🥂✨

MoonlightLullaby

@SW-User Yes ma'am.🤭 Just keep fighting both of the battles you were dealt....

SW-User

@MoonlightLullaby i am a warrior, i bring the fire 🔥!! I intend on continuing dealing with both......trust me on that!! 💖🌷

SW-User

@OogieBoogie I don’t really know why I had to let it out, but it’s about time. I feel so much better. But, just drained from all the feelings I allowed myself to feel. 🙈💙

OogieBoogie · F

@SW-User its exhausting. Especially if you havent cried in years.
Get rest, and let yourself heal .
Crying is cleansing 🤗

SW-User

@OogieBoogie thank you my good fried, I appreciate that so much!! 💙

OogieBoogie · F

You do !
Crying is lust as necessary as laughing.

And it will get better. It must have hurt so much to feel it after so long .

Sometimes i cry , and its not about anything specific.....its just a buikd up inside. And i dont care to know what its about , its the crying that is important.

Sometimes you just need to let out tjat energy build up .
💜

SageWanderer · 70-79, M

@OogieBoogie I’m glad to have read through responses before posting. Just as you release happiness and joy with laughter; pain and hurt get released through tears. I don’t understand why that’s not understood.

OogieBoogie · F

@SageWanderer yeah, i dont know why people think its bad either.
Its kind of cruicial that we allow ourselves to feel.

Ive read somwwhere there is a process to grief , ( denial, anger, bargaining , sorrow and acceptance),and thar if you dont go through each stage it makes it hard to get over. Or that you can get stuck on denial , or anger as they feel easier.
Im not sure how true it is, but i do know sorrow is very painful .

And yes , as painful as it is .....why dont we learn its ok to release it?
To me, its been an essential process.

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