Anxious
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Can somebody tell me, how to unlove someone? How do I detach myself from someone that has been part of my life but is making me feel unwanted and doesn't even care? I'm the only one waiting for replies and wanting attention, while he doesn't even realize that I need him. Please help me~
LadyGrace · 70-79
Been there, done that. I had to realize that it really wasn't even about me. People have different preferences and that's okay. That's all it is. The minute you start taking it personal, is why you'll keep hurting. Don't make the mistake of grieving over the person, when the real problem is you're grieving over something you thought you had! Time to move on to someone who will love you and appreciate you for who you are. You deserve so much more! Just be glad that he showed you exactly who he was and that you should believe him when he gives you all the signals that he is emotionally unavailable and he always will be. That helped you out! Saves a lot of time and hurt. Just think if you had tried and tried even more and the harder you tried, the less you got out of it. If it was meant to work, it would work and if he was supposed to be the one then he would have let you know. I know it hurts, but we have to face reality so we can heal, right? Good thing you didn't marry this man. If he treats you this way now, just think how disrespectful he would be if you were married to him and that would be a real catastrophe. When one door closes, another will open. I hope you feel much better soon and start the healing process. If you need me, I'm all ears. You can PM me. How do you let go? You tell yourself the truth!!! Not what you WISH it was. 😉
🌹🤗 One thing that will really help you, trust me on this, is vitamin B12. It comes the nerves.
LadyGrace · 70-79
@Mariee Any time. I just want to see you happy. Everyone deserves to be happy.
Mariee · 26-30, F
@LadyGrace You are a good person, I guess.
LadyGrace · 70-79
@Mariee You guess? 😂 Yeh. I've always tried to be very good to people. 😄
LadyGrace · 70-79
Yes, sometimes we lose ourselves in other people and that's not a good thing because that makes a person codependent. You will heal in time. Just give it time. ❤️ Hugs
LadyGrace · 70-79
Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal before you move on to someone else. Don't bring emotional baggage into another relationship. But what you could do, is get excited about the prospect that there is most likely someone out there in the same position you are in, and is needing to heal and is looking for you, as well!
Dusty101 · F
He's making you feel unwanted and doesn't care, that's it in a nutshell. Loving someone like that is not good for your mental health. It's the idea that he would be perfect if he wanted you and cared. So he clearly doesn't, let him be someone else's head wrecker that might put up with that crap. Allow yourself not to waste anymore time on him, by reading up on unrequited love. You will become more stronger and realise how you can help others. Believe me I went through this too.
Mariee · 26-30, F
@Dusty101 Way back then, when I felt that someone doesn't want me anymore I always leave. I am very brave to leave and restart on my own but this one had made me a dummy and a cripple. In my head I know what to do but I can't do it and it's insane.
Dusty101 · F
@Mariee it's a tricky one. And not fair for you! This must be so tough for you! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Mariee · 26-30, F
@Dusty101 It is really tough, I just want to numb my feelings.
I have been through that. But I realised that with time and new activities we move ahead in life.
@Mariee hope you get back and feel better sooner. 🙂
Mariee · 26-30, F
@littlepuppywantanewlife I am hoping so, thank you for sparing some time responding to me.
@Mariee it's ok. 🙂🙃
You have to learn to love yourself first. I know that can be difficult but you have to try. Once you love you… you won’t let anyone treat you like that.
Mariee · 26-30, F
@JustGoneNow I will, thank you for sparing some time to respond :)
@Mariee of course. be safe and be well. light and love. 🖤
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@Mariee It's like un-ringing a bell :) You can't, but you can turn a deft ear to it and let it sink into the clutter of whatever else you left behind.
Krysclear · 31-35, F
Hard to distance yourself from someone that you love but doesn’t love you back. I’ve bent over backwards for someone like that and I will never do it again
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
Actions spoke louder than words if he made. You feel unwanted that way. You fell in love with what you thought he was. It is a painful realization when you discover someone doesn’t give a crap and were only playing you till they got you hooked. You were created to LOVE and BE LOVED. That is the essence of human life. Love yourself like a good friend would and advise yourself like that good friend would do if you poured out your heart to them. That is the way I healed myself and got over a marriage to a narcissist.
black4white · 56-60, M
You have to find a way to fill those thoughts with other things …walks…hobbies…etc. don’t just sit and relive the past as that is what makes it harder btw 1 day at a time and before you know it days then weeks then months past….not saying don’t think of the person just saying don’t dwell on those thoughts …good luck
Steve42 · 56-60, M
The way that I got over someone I loved close to 35 years was to come to understand that what I had built her up to be in my mind did not exist in reality. In my mind, she loved me back, but in reality she didn't give to shits about me. Accepting that notion solved the problem.
What do you need help with? Read your own comment. He don't write. He don't care. He don't give you any attention. He makes you feel unwanted? He doesn't care if you need him.

And you really can't figure out he's done and has moved on.......on your own??????
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
im going through this, all i can say is mourn them as if they were dead as the potential is dead
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
@Mariee i am as well, i hope we come out stronger!!!
Mariee · 26-30, F
@WolfGirlwh0r3 Let's do this, not so fast but I know we will soon
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
@Mariee -chad chest bumps you-
Without knowing the nature of your relationship, I'd say try to stay away from him for a month or more. Time truly helps to heal all wounds.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
wish you could take a pill but the truth is you'll probably always have feelings of some kind

think of it as an addiction - an addict can quit cold turkey but often as that need for something they know isn't healthy

you just have to stay away and keep occupied - the busier you are the less time you can think about him
Mariee · 26-30, F
@Pretzel The worst thing is that I am in a relationship with him and even if I know that I have to leave, I can't find the strength to go and break it up with him.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
@Mariee are you safe? physically?

if not, tell someone. make a plan. escape.
Mariee · 26-30, F
@Pretzel I am physically safe, I just can't imagine breaking up with him.
dimfok · 22-25, M
For me, when this happens it takes time and slowly but surely I get detached. There's no special recipe I'm afraid.
Applepiedom · 56-60, M
Find someone else. Change your routine to mix it up and not have time to miss the dumbass.
soulshadow · 36-40, M
Drugs and extra work and sex with other people.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
You should practice self care, be a while on your own and work through it. It's not easy, but time helps. Do stuff you always wanted to do.
It sounds weird, but - date yourself.
Do fun things for yourself and with family and friends.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
@Mariee then he's just a jackass. I'd dump him. But that's just my personal opinion.
Mariee · 26-30, F
@basilfawlty89 I am scared that if I leave now with all these feelings that I have for him, I will be loosing it all at the end. I am scared that if I am the who will leave first I will end up wanting him again and again. I am too scared
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
@Mariee but is staying better? If you're miserable, it's better to be single and happy instead of in a miserable relationship.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
Find another.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
it's like an addcition isn't it?
you just need time.
you need distance

and people to help you stay clean :)
antonioioio · 70-79, M
Tell him straight out what you think and what you feel and take it from their ♥️
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Get a new boyfriend

 
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