Why do I always fall for someone who doesn't like me back?

@ozgirl512 No, I'm aware of what I want and don't want, this is more of a misfortune on my part.

@Melpomene well i hope you have better luck in the future ...

@ozgirl512 Thanks

@Melpomene maybe you don't give off an "ask me out vibe" I don't think I do either and looking back realise maybe I missed hints? I liked this guy at work, but he's at work so in my mind off limits but I really liked him, knew he didn't like me. Anyway when I look back and he said a couple of times "do you want to just run off together" which I took as a complete joke, maybe it was, but maybe he was hinting and I just missed it and made more of a joke of it...

So maybe you give off a vibe that doesn't say "ask me out" and maybe you miss hints? Maybe...and then after a while they think you're definitely not interested and get someone else?

@Forgetmeknot There is some truth to it

@Melpomene I guess ideally you would start asking people out...easier said then done I know but it's better than what I do - wait for men to ask me and it's always the psychos lol because they just ask, don't care I guess if they get knocked back.

@Melpomene [quote]@itsok I prefer personalized, [c=7700B2][u]realistic ones[/u][/c] but to each their own.[/quote]

And that is the main thrust of my reply's in this thread.. People who have the highest chance of success are the ones that have realistic standards / expectations..

[quote]Lastly, saying that to a stranger mostly shows projection (of yourself or your surroundings), since you can't know me nor my standards. [/quote]

Well when someone says something that i think does not relate to me i simply state that it does not apply to me.. That and not taking things personal really helps..

Anyway you have brought up a very interesting topic.. Something that is affecting a large number of people in the western world in particular.. It was good to hear your thoughts in the issue..

@itsok [quote]@Adstar if every person has their own rating system, and each system is different, then how are you comparing numbers? [/quote]

Because in General/ on average many men have similar wants and many woman have similar wants too.. of course there are people who have their own eccentricities. Maybe to one woman a particular man is a 4 while to another woman that man is a 6. If that man has a realistic self view and he thinks of himself as a 5 he will have far more success in dating and finding a partner then a guy who is a 6 and thinks he is a 10..

[quote]
Perhaps instead of settling, find a partner with a “rating system” that meshes with your own.[/quote]

That would be nice.. But in general / on average.. Men and woman have different priorities.. For example a young man may prize fertility and good looks as his important attributes in a woman.. If He thinks woman rate male fertility and good looks as the most important thing he will definitely not have much success in getting a woman..

So a man has to find out what ( most) woman actually need / want in a life partner and go out and try to obtain or build those attributes within himself to become more appealing to more woman..

The same thing goes for woman.. They need to find out What ( most ) men want in a life partner and then try their best to build up those attributes in themselves..

Now of course you can go with the, I am the way i am and i am not going to make any adjustments for anyone... You may end up being fortunate and come upon someone who wants someone exactly as you are.. But in this life the chances of that happening might be low to very low.. It's the gamble we take..

I'm off to bed now.. It's way past my bed time.. Good night ladies.. ✋

@Adstar [quote]personalized...but to each their own[/quote] And this was mine.
Highest chance of success? Real people are more than statistics.
I get what you're saying but you're stressing out the math way too much for this. Add humanity, personalization, trauma, needs, long term plans, interests, common grounds...
That type of statistics is faulty and only works short term but if that's what works for you then you do you, but there's no reason to generalize that.

[quote]Well when someone says something that i think does not relate to me i simply state that it does not apply to me.. That and not taking things personal really helps..
[/quote]
I'm not just saying it doesn't apply to me (maybe it does), just that you don't have enough information to claim that, for me or anyone else that you don't know a lot about.
Again, this diminishes the person's self worth (you're basically saying "you don't deserve them") when the actual choice should be on potential partner. The only thing this prevents is laughing you could get because you "aimed higher" but lets be honest, people that laugh at such situations are jerks.
I'm not taking it personally but since you addressed me and didn't say how's things in general then I have to answer it. And I do believe this is a shitty advice. If something seems unreachable, you can raise yourself until it's not. It's your choice to reject something as "nah, that's too high" and settle for less.

@Fluffybull Mhm, mostly ignored however this isn't about me chasing someone or seeking whatever I didn't get from parents but about how misfit love is. Those that I like don't like me back and those that do like me I don't like back.

@Grateful4you I know, I'm just tired of waiting

@smiler2012 I don't, but I also won't run away from my part either.

@Bri89 Could it be a secret desire of being known and understood?

@BarbossasHusband

@REMsleep Yes, I know about that. I can also differentiate whether someone is polite, friendly interested or likes me. Unfortunately, the last category is very rare, even more so when people go from 3rd to 2nd once they figure out we're not really compatible.
Sometimes, it's not about whether you're noticed - people who care about you might not always be able to call or be there for you and perceptive people will in general notice a lot of things.