Why do I always fall for someone who doesn't like me back?

@Adstar That's actually a shitty advice, especially if you're saying it to a stranger.

@Melpomene Why? It is either correct or wrong..

Most people who are consistently failing to get relationships and commitment from people and are going through their lives single do so because the people they want are way more attractive then they are.. These people have no interest in anything serious with a person who they consider below their level..

If you are a 5 and you are always trying to get 8's to partner with you then you are going to have a long line of failures and heart breaks..

It is excellent advice to not shoot for the stars.If you do not have a star ship. Sometimes going to the moon is the doable thing and you can have a successful life mission doing so..

@Melpomene You should have the highest standards for yourself.

@Adstar What is your number rating system based on? Is it something superficial?

@itsok

Each individual has their own rating system..

Men generally have a different rating system to Woman..

And yes some peoples ratings are based on superficial things. Those people rarely ever find long term fulfilling relationships.

This should not be a huge revelation to anyone.. It's the reality of life in the real world.. I know a lot of people want to hold onto their fantasy world view, thinking that Prince charming or a super model is going to fall in love with them some day.. Many of these types of dreamers end up in their mid 40's / 50's alone and bitter..

Yeah the real world can be a disappointment when you have priced yourself out of the market.. A lot of people would have a far better life in regards to having a life partner and a family if they had a more realistic World View..

@Adstar Well this:
A clock that doesn't work is correct 2 times a day...but how useful is that? You need a clock to show you the time and not be correct once in a while.

Now, feelings get more complicated. By your system, you can see a 10 walking with a 2 but if they love each other, what's the point of numbers?
Not to mention every person has their own set of standards, and if we had to describe it I wouldn't use linear (for overall impression) but more like a spectrum kind of (with accents on more important and could compromise components).
Expressing it out with a one number also diminishes individual pros and cons, reducing it to an overall impression. Using that method, people will doll themselves up like a nice package with a bow on top only to get disappointed once they figure out how superficial that all is and whether the inside matches their expectation. It's only accentuating one or two of the skills (looks, charisma, presentation) but some people value others characteristics over that.
Lastly, saying that to a stranger mostly shows projection (of yourself or your surroundings), since you can't know me nor my standards. Yes there are people that seem to be asking for more than they offer but it's very natural to strive for what you think is the best and essentially, it all comes down to our choices. You can court someone in whatever "league" they are in but it's their choice whether they'll date you or not.

@itsok I prefer personalized, realistic ones but to each their own.

@Adstar if every person has their own rating system, and each system is different, then how are you comparing numbers?

I do agree that a lot of people end up bitter, but perhaps that bitterness has no basis on a number you’ve arbitrarily given someone else. Maybe their number given to others takes more weight from things you’ve never considered a priority.
Perhaps instead of settling, find a partner with a “rating system” that meshes with your own.

@Melpomene
And that is the main thrust of my reply's in this thread.. People who have the highest chance of success are the ones that have realistic standards / expectations..


Well when someone says something that i think does not relate to me i simply state that it does not apply to me.. That and not taking things personal really helps..

Anyway you have brought up a very interesting topic.. Something that is affecting a large number of people in the western world in particular.. It was good to hear your thoughts in the issue..

@itsok
Because in General/ on average many men have similar wants and many woman have similar wants too.. of course there are people who have their own eccentricities. Maybe to one woman a particular man is a 4 while to another woman that man is a 6. If that man has a realistic self view and he thinks of himself as a 5 he will have far more success in dating and finding a partner then a guy who is a 6 and thinks he is a 10..


That would be nice.. But in general / on average.. Men and woman have different priorities.. For example a young man may prize fertility and good looks as his important attributes in a woman.. If He thinks woman rate male fertility and good looks as the most important thing he will definitely not have much success in getting a woman..

So a man has to find out what ( most) woman actually need / want in a life partner and go out and try to obtain or build those attributes within himself to become more appealing to more woman..

The same thing goes for woman.. They need to find out What ( most ) men want in a life partner and then try their best to build up those attributes in themselves..

Now of course you can go with the, I am the way i am and i am not going to make any adjustments for anyone... You may end up being fortunate and come upon someone who wants someone exactly as you are.. But in this life the chances of that happening might be low to very low.. It's the gamble we take..

I'm off to bed now.. It's way past my bed time.. Good night ladies.. ✋

@Adstar And this was mine.
Highest chance of success? Real people are more than statistics.
I get what you're saying but you're stressing out the math way too much for this. Add humanity, personalization, trauma, needs, long term plans, interests, common grounds...
That type of statistics is faulty and only works short term but if that's what works for you then you do you, but there's no reason to generalize that.

I'm not just saying it doesn't apply to me (maybe it does), just that you don't have enough information to claim that, for me or anyone else that you don't know a lot about.
Again, this diminishes the person's self worth (you're basically saying "you don't deserve them") when the actual choice should be on potential partner. The only thing this prevents is laughing you could get because you "aimed higher" but lets be honest, people that laugh at such situations are jerks.
I'm not taking it personally but since you addressed me and didn't say how's things in general then I have to answer it. And I do believe this is a shitty advice. If something seems unreachable, you can raise yourself until it's not. It's your choice to reject something as "nah, that's too high" and settle for less.