Why is it so hard to find a relationship

Mr In10RjFox's advice is excellent..

I would add...
1. Consider your values, priorities, goals, interests, tastes and preferred lifestyle.
Someone who is compatible shares either the same or similar.
Or the two off you find it easy to accept the differences and find creative ways to incorporate them all.

2. Meeting in real life can be more satisfying than online because it's harder to lie and easier to check.
One is more likely to meet such people via one's interests. For instance, scuba diving would fit well with boating and fishing. Photography fits well with journalism. Someone with a good nose could work equally well in perfumery, cooking, holistic medicine, and perhaps gardening. Join the classes and clubs. If your interests have a strong gender bias, consider whether you might also like one or two interests that attract the opposite - eg creative writing, poetry, etc

3. Make a list of your definite no-go's: eg. addiction, chronic madness, criminal history, manipulative, bossy, angry, etc

4. Make sure you yourself are ready to be a good partner. Be respectful, open, honest, responsible and considerate.
- Aim for friendship: it's the best way to get to know someone and build a bond. Plus it's what's left when the sex hormones wither away in old age.
- Learn conversation: how to ask good questions, how to listen, and how to respond with interesting replies.
- Learn how to connect and communicate your feelings and needs, and creative conflict resolution skills. No two people are ever the same, therefore differences are inevitable. It's how you both handle them that mostly determines long term success or failure. Also, people and circumstances can sometimes change in unforeseeable ways.

The world is going through the worst of the gender based divide and rule. So you need to change your approach and strategy. Note that others too are in the same boat. Instead of being picky and choosy, just relate with random people in a various ways. Start joining cohorts, attending meetups through meet-up.com or other sites. Learn the art of starting a conversation. Don't reject people by their looks. It's like people may come and go. But you keep going for the next best thing. Spread your net wider and smarter. Sharpen your sense of humor. To befriend waitresses you need to go to the back alley where they come for a break or smoke. Be innovative. Be creative.

It's a competitive world and most do not have time. All are stressed up as they are going through some phase in their life. So you need to stand out and be different, to attract attention.

I read a quote long ago by Lao Tzu, and he said "when you seek it, you cannot find it." I think what he was saying was just go through your life, the right person will come around, eventually.

right there with u brother

It's all timing.

Wow really I will be 60 in about a month. Never had a good relationship and never been married. It happens when it happens. I gave up looking if it's for be great

U are better off being single these day's

It's not time for you yet, that's all what it means. It took me a century to find my soulmate. It seemed impossible then. I was hopeless, disappointed, discouraged and disheartened but it happened for me so it can happen for you too. Just hang in there.