Why is it so hard to find a relationship
I swear I haven't been able to find anyone recently and when I do it's chatting for one day then unmatched it just gets really lonely at times
22-25, M
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Mr In10RjFox's advice is excellent..
I would add...
1. Consider your values, priorities, goals, interests, tastes and preferred lifestyle.
Someone who is compatible shares either the same or similar.
Or, the two of you find it easy to accept the differences and find creative ways to incorporate them all.
2. Meeting in real life can be more satisfying than online because it's harder to lie and easier to check.
One is more likely to meet such people via one's interests. For instance, scuba diving would fit well with boating and fishing. Photography fits well with journalism. Someone with a good nose could work equally well in perfumery, cooking, holistic medicine, and perhaps gardening. Join the classes and clubs. If your interests have a strong gender bias, consider whether you might also like one or two interests that attract the opposite - eg creative writing, poetry, choir, etc
3. Make a list of your definite no-go's: eg. addiction, chronic madness, criminal history, manipulative, bossy, angry, etc
4. Make sure you yourself are ready to be a good partner. Be respectful, open, honest, responsible and considerate.
- Aim for friendship: it's the best way to get to know someone and build a bond. Plus it's what's left when the sex hormones wither away in old age.
- Learn the art & skills of conversation: how to ask good questions, listen, and respond with interesting replies.
- Learn how to connect and communicate your feelings and needs, and creative conflict resolution skills.
two people are ever the same, therefore differences are inevitable. It's how you both handle them that mostly determines long term success or failure. Also, people and circumstances can sometimes change in unforeseeable ways.
I would add...
1. Consider your values, priorities, goals, interests, tastes and preferred lifestyle.
Someone who is compatible shares either the same or similar.
Or, the two of you find it easy to accept the differences and find creative ways to incorporate them all.
2. Meeting in real life can be more satisfying than online because it's harder to lie and easier to check.
One is more likely to meet such people via one's interests. For instance, scuba diving would fit well with boating and fishing. Photography fits well with journalism. Someone with a good nose could work equally well in perfumery, cooking, holistic medicine, and perhaps gardening. Join the classes and clubs. If your interests have a strong gender bias, consider whether you might also like one or two interests that attract the opposite - eg creative writing, poetry, choir, etc
3. Make a list of your definite no-go's: eg. addiction, chronic madness, criminal history, manipulative, bossy, angry, etc
4. Make sure you yourself are ready to be a good partner. Be respectful, open, honest, responsible and considerate.
- Aim for friendship: it's the best way to get to know someone and build a bond. Plus it's what's left when the sex hormones wither away in old age.
- Learn the art & skills of conversation: how to ask good questions, listen, and respond with interesting replies.
- Learn how to connect and communicate your feelings and needs, and creative conflict resolution skills.
two people are ever the same, therefore differences are inevitable. It's how you both handle them that mostly determines long term success or failure. Also, people and circumstances can sometimes change in unforeseeable ways.
in10RjFox · M
The world is going through the worst of the gender based divide and rule. So you need to change your approach and strategy. Note that others too are in the same boat. Instead of being picky and choosy, just relate with random people in a various ways. Start joining cohorts, attending meetups through meet-up.com or other sites. Learn the art of starting a conversation. Don't reject people by their looks. It's like people may come and go. But you keep going for the next best thing. Spread your net wider and smarter. Sharpen your sense of humor. To befriend waitresses you need to go to the back alley where they come for a break or smoke. Be innovative. Be creative.
It's a competitive world and most do not have time. All are stressed up as they are going through some phase in their life. So you need to stand out and be different, to attract attention.
It's a competitive world and most do not have time. All are stressed up as they are going through some phase in their life. So you need to stand out and be different, to attract attention.
Chatting is essential - and can be enjoyable.
In the next few, ask for feedback when it's petering out or ending. Ask her to be direct and honest because you want to learn whether you're making mistakes in the way you communicate. See if there are any common themes in their responses. If so, consider how you could improve your skills in conversation and getting to know each other.
Consider creating a list of questions - what you want to know about them, and what you'd like them to ask you.
Consider whether you are honest and open, whether you boast or undersell yourself, and whether the way you feel about yourself is realistic.
Maybe think about being more selective. It helps save time.
Create lists of what you do and don't want in a partner and what traits don't matter. Maybe post this in your Äbout Me" on your profile. This makes it easier for her to see who you are.
In the next few, ask for feedback when it's petering out or ending. Ask her to be direct and honest because you want to learn whether you're making mistakes in the way you communicate. See if there are any common themes in their responses. If so, consider how you could improve your skills in conversation and getting to know each other.
Consider creating a list of questions - what you want to know about them, and what you'd like them to ask you.
Consider whether you are honest and open, whether you boast or undersell yourself, and whether the way you feel about yourself is realistic.
Maybe think about being more selective. It helps save time.
Create lists of what you do and don't want in a partner and what traits don't matter. Maybe post this in your Äbout Me" on your profile. This makes it easier for her to see who you are.
tactical360 · 56-60, M
in10RjFox · M
@tactical360 not really. What he means is that just because you seek something, does not mean you will get it immediately. Which means you have to be on the lookout and work towards it. It also means don't waste time by looking for it at once. Prepare your mind for to accept/ receive it when it appears for often things appear like a lightning. Even if you miss a few, you will catch the next one.
Often we are presented with things that we never sought. And we may let go the right person since we were not looking for such a thing. 😀
Often we are presented with things that we never sought. And we may let go the right person since we were not looking for such a thing. 😀
tactical360 · 56-60, M
@in10RjFox with regards concerning the first paragraph in your response to my post, you basically restated what I said.
@tactical360 In the days of Lao Tsu marriages were arranged: no one thought of giving youngsters the choice, so acceptance of the status quo was the only way to adapt.
HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M
496sbc · 36-40, M
right there with u brother
View 7 more replies »
496sbc · 36-40, M
@Noah173500 yeah bro u can msg any time
lwshm64 · 56-60, F
Wow really I will be 60 in about a month. Never had a good relationship and never been married. It happens when it happens. I gave up looking if it's for be great
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
U are better off being single these day's
lwshm64 · 56-60, F
@smileylovesgaming AMEN
Elisbch · M
When you find one, ask her if she's got a sister for me!...LOL 😄
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
It's not time for you yet, that's all what it means. It took me a century to find my soulmate. It seemed impossible then. I was hopeless, disappointed, discouraged and disheartened but it happened for me so it can happen for you too. Just hang in there.
Noah173500 · 22-25, M
@Donotfolowme Thank you and yeah I know that special someone is out there just wish they'd come sooner lol
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
@Noah173500 I know right I wish I had known him from high school my life would have been delightful and so much better. I often tease him for not meeting sooner. I wish you find the one like tomorrow 🙏😄
Noah173500 · 22-25, M
@Donotfolowme Lol and thank you so much you're very sweet
swirlie · 31-35, F
Because you keep looking!
If you want to find someone, don't look for them and they will show up!
If you want to find someone, don't look for them and they will show up!
swirlie · 31-35, F
If you live your life on your cellphone, you won't meet anyone who's doing the same thing.