Why is it so hard to find a relationship
I swear I haven't been able to find anyone recently and when I do it's chatting for one day then unmatched it just gets really lonely at times
22-25, M
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
hartfire · 61-69
Mr In10RjFox's advice is excellent..
I would add...
1. Consider your values, priorities, goals, interests, tastes and preferred lifestyle.
Someone who is compatible shares either the same or similar.
Or, the two of you find it easy to accept the differences and find creative ways to incorporate them all.
2. Meeting in real life can be more satisfying than online because it's harder to lie and easier to check.
One is more likely to meet such people via one's interests. For instance, scuba diving would fit well with boating and fishing. Photography fits well with journalism. Someone with a good nose could work equally well in perfumery, cooking, holistic medicine, and perhaps gardening. Join the classes and clubs. If your interests have a strong gender bias, consider whether you might also like one or two interests that attract the opposite - eg creative writing, poetry, choir, etc
3. Make a list of your definite no-go's: eg. addiction, chronic madness, criminal history, manipulative, bossy, angry, etc
4. Make sure you yourself are ready to be a good partner. Be respectful, open, honest, responsible and considerate.
- Aim for friendship: it's the best way to get to know someone and build a bond. Plus it's what's left when the sex hormones wither away in old age.
- Learn the art & skills of conversation: how to ask good questions, listen, and respond with interesting replies.
- Learn how to connect and communicate your feelings and needs, and creative conflict resolution skills.
two people are ever the same, therefore differences are inevitable. It's how you both handle them that mostly determines long term success or failure. Also, people and circumstances can sometimes change in unforeseeable ways.
I would add...
1. Consider your values, priorities, goals, interests, tastes and preferred lifestyle.
Someone who is compatible shares either the same or similar.
Or, the two of you find it easy to accept the differences and find creative ways to incorporate them all.
2. Meeting in real life can be more satisfying than online because it's harder to lie and easier to check.
One is more likely to meet such people via one's interests. For instance, scuba diving would fit well with boating and fishing. Photography fits well with journalism. Someone with a good nose could work equally well in perfumery, cooking, holistic medicine, and perhaps gardening. Join the classes and clubs. If your interests have a strong gender bias, consider whether you might also like one or two interests that attract the opposite - eg creative writing, poetry, choir, etc
3. Make a list of your definite no-go's: eg. addiction, chronic madness, criminal history, manipulative, bossy, angry, etc
4. Make sure you yourself are ready to be a good partner. Be respectful, open, honest, responsible and considerate.
- Aim for friendship: it's the best way to get to know someone and build a bond. Plus it's what's left when the sex hormones wither away in old age.
- Learn the art & skills of conversation: how to ask good questions, listen, and respond with interesting replies.
- Learn how to connect and communicate your feelings and needs, and creative conflict resolution skills.
two people are ever the same, therefore differences are inevitable. It's how you both handle them that mostly determines long term success or failure. Also, people and circumstances can sometimes change in unforeseeable ways.