Do You Have any Country Wisdom to Share?

"Bless your heart" is the greatest backhanded insult of all time.

If it moves and it’s not supposed to; duct tape.
It doesn’t move and it should; WD40.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

I never learn a damn thing when I was a talking. Occasionally I learned how stupid I could be when I was running my mouth. My mother has a bunch of sage one liners. We passed wet concrete one time and I said I'm going to write my name in it. She just said fools names and fools faces are often seen in public places. I never did any graphitti from then on. Never did much any way. But she had a million of them and now I do.

If it’s got wheels or tits you’re going to have trouble with it

Never get into a braying contest with a jackass.

Sit in one hand and wish on the other and see which one fills up first.
Dad was Groucho Marx and that violin playing comedian not Jack Benny, this guy ,always used the line, Hello ladies and germs , I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my arms tired. Henny Youngman

If it moves.. Fuck it.

The bigger they are the easier they fall,

2008 bailouts

A nod is as good as a wink, to a blind horse!