How do you pick up the courage to change things? Almost 3 now years ago I moved a couple...

Everyone is being hit by this financial struggle ...all except people "they" want you to be enemies with, ie: your slightly richer sisters/brothers and other very nice people who might naturally WANT to be in your circle.

Think about that.

Its the disparity itself that causes so much self-blame and depression and other dysfunctional-ality.

In a meaningful and more compassionate world this just wouldn't have happened to you, instead you might naturally find out you are incompatible or maybe just fine, although the economy is not.

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Maybe with a better guy next time though...
I am sorry this happened to you.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

Get out now. You’re doing it on your own now if he isn’t helping with the bills anyway. You’ll have more money without him and will meet new people. He’s holding you back and you’re staying there being a willing partner to it all.

GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

Sounds like you invested 100% and they just showed up for the cake and ice cream.

I think there is a deeper fundamental difference between you, however. One you might not have seen. See, being homeless without a safety net, like living in a car, changes you. You KNOW what waits, if you blow your money on the things that don't matter. That having a lot of stuff is only good if you have a place for it. That stability and a roof over your head and food in your mouth mean something to you.

If he's ever had that challenge, I don't know. Actions say no.

Harriet03 · 41-45, F

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jomsim · 26-30, M

I would try to cut your outgoings as much as possible and hold money back until you have enough to give you options for independence. I would also try to make contact with your family and tell them how things are for you. They might offer you an escape route too.

All that aside, I would make it clear to him that this situation can't continue and that he has to pay his share.

4meAndyou · F

For me, it was when I realized that the ex was not just abusive, but that he actually didn't love me, because if he did, he would never dream of saying the things he said, or treating me as he did.

I left him. What you need to do is find a VERY low cost room or rooming house, and just live there until you've caught up financially. That's what I did after I lost my house and moved back here. I live in a pit hole that was not to be believed. But if I had to, I could walk to work.

maybesomeday · 31-35, F

Move on somewhere else; sounds like you're already doing everything yourself anyway without the support of your partner, he seems to only be costing you. So just move on, make the choice to leave the unhappy situation you are in.

Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F

There is always a way to start fresh. You just have to do it afraid sometimes. It sounds like the significant other no longer needs to be significant and I’m sorry about that.

You are worth more and can do this.

Shannon27 · M

I would walk out today. Go back to your family they will take you back in. Take some time for yourself. It sounds like you were the better half so you should have no problem finding another significant other

Beautywithin · 36-40, F

You just have to do it! Easier said than done I know! Think outside of the box as humans it's easier for us to focus on the negatives rather than positives