How do you pick up the courage to change things?

Almost 3 now years ago I moved a couple hundred miles away to live with my significant other. Since then he has cost me several jobs and lied about being able to hold his half of bills, I've lost my car, my phone is broke and I'm too busy and broke working week to week to buy a new one, which is the reason why after almost 3 years here I haven't made a single real friend, and nobody in my family has talked to me for years. I feel lonely and I've lost all my independence.

At what point being unhappy in a situation is it time to move on somewhere else, even if the direct path to becoming happy is unclear? Is there a way to fight the financial struggle to get myself back onto my own two feet?

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jomsim · 26-30, M

I would try to cut your outgoings as much as possible and hold money back until you have enough to give you options for independence. I would also try to make contact with your family and tell them how things are for you. They might offer you an escape route too.

All that aside, I would make it clear to him that this situation can't continue and that he has to pay his share.

ash365 · 26-30, T

@jomsim I'm already spending about bare minimum to get by, almost every week I have to dip my account to zero to get gas to come in the day before I get paid. Unfortunately I don't think family is an option for me, I was kicked out when I was 18 for coming out and my mom stole all my savings from me, I had to live in my car for a year after that.

He's been helping with bills since I got him a job with my company but it's still a struggle, and he has impulsive spending habits

jomsim · 26-30, M

@ash365 I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like an awful situation. I don't know if it's possible where you are, but there are joint accounts where you can set limits on spending. Guessing he wouldn't go for that, though.

ash365 · 26-30, T

@jomsim I wouldn't consider having any shared account with him honestly, it's hard enough to keep him from running off with my debit card getting little snacks and stuff anyway