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Do you self sabotage?

I'm so used to being rejected that, I've noticed any time something seems to be going OK. I do something to mess it up.

This then in turn makes situations turn for the worst giving me an excuse to walk away.

I don't want to be this way.
And I am trying to do better.
Gusman · 56-60, M
I used to do that for years.
I called it my self destruct mechanism.
What I found was that I needed self belief in myself.
When I realised I was a valuable human being worthy of acceptance then the self destruction ceased.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Gusman I'm working on it
I self sabotage in other ways. I never go after things I really want because I'm afraid my desire will vanish when I'm half way there, already trapped in commitments. And I'll want something completely different after putting so much effort into something that suddenly feels pointless.
Liamiam · 51-55, M
You really should take the chance sometimes ,you may be pleasantly suprised 😊 @CrazyMusicLover
@Liamiam I was with my former job...at first. I need a kick like that again, but better and more effective.
Liamiam · 51-55, M
I’ll be right over ..🥾. 😅.
Hug 🤗 and a kiss 😘 my dear friend , would be much better and more affective though . @CrazyMusicLover
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Of course I do! And do it purposely!

I don't consider it a bad thing either. It's my subconscious speaking out in protest to what it sees happening!

It's a good trait, IF you want to be honest with yourself. If want to follow a long with the crowd it's a bad thing.

So do you want to be honest with yourself, or do want to follow along with the crowd? 🤔

I don't like crowds!
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl notice I gave two direction on this only. I just simplified it since I knew which direction you would pick. It's actually more complicated than just two directions.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@DeWayfarer and that's OK.
I don't really know what to say to you. Some people are stronger on their own.. But whilst your nearing the end of life. I'm only starting. The world no longer wants people to be individuals well not unless you can influence. And since I'm not about what they want people to influence in trying what I can to find my place.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl oh you'll influence others no matter what you believe.

As to your place only you can determine that. If you want to be a big influencer you could be. Not saying you want to be. Just that you can.

As to my age... My words will be around long after I'm gone, yet not so long to be of any significance.

So will your own words! 😁
SW-User
[quote]I don't want to be this way.
And I am trying to do better.[/quote]
Then allow yourself to do so.

[ This could just be me simping or being a tryhard however. I guess I just need to fit in so badly given that I never have before and it just eats me up inside so much. 🙄 ]

Or maybe I just like building people up where others would enjoy tearing them down. Because that was done to me.

Go easy on yourself. Please forgive yourself.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@SW-User I am trying... I just don't do well at humiliation etc
SW-User
@Mellowgirl "If I'm a fool for love, I don't care" -Belinda Carlisle

👍
Ksmile14 · F
I've done it. Idk why... :(
Lanyx · 41-45, M
I had one incident where I lost confidence. I went behind my job recruiters back and tried to negotiate directly with the firm. This has ended badly for me.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Lanyx Yea thats not always good,
You have to be straight from the start.
The recruiter can be realistic and manage your expectations but yea this always blows up in your face.
Lanyx · 41-45, M
@Mellowgirl There is a bit more than meets the eye. The first interview went so well, that the guy invited me for the second one before the first one was finished. This guy was forced to go on vacation, when he came back they postponed on me a few times. I lost my self confidence; had a long-hard think about the alternatives and simply picked the wrong one. Like the french say: "C'est la vive!".
Casheyane · 26-30, F
I don't get it. You mean like you're getting ahead of muphy's law or something?

Happiness isn't really a regular thing. So when it comes, take it. Make the most of it. I think we all kinda deserve it. We need it anyway.
ShadowWorker · 61-69, F
Old habits are hard to break. Your awareness is the first step to improving the way you react and think.
Your attitude is grand, you are trying to do better. so.. keep on..keeping on! Blessings 💖✌
smiler2012 · 56-60, M
{@mellowgirl] do you ever stop to consider non of this may be your fault so do not beat yourself up so 😃
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@smiler2012 I never do.
smiler2012 · 56-60, M
@Mellowgirl glad to here it 😄
Muthafukajones · 41-45, M
You should get some therapy for this. There are lots of reasons why you might self sabotage but you can over come it!!!
MercedesH · 26-30, F
Maybe in reality you don't want good things. You should not do that. Try to realize that you are worthy.
I don't do something to mess it up, but I don't do my best either.
SW-User
I'm trying not to ...I'm just trying to move on
RebelFox · 36-40, F
I used to. I had to quit.
Ferric67 · M
Good luck dealing with that

 
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