Wife does not respect me and completely ignores my orders, help and advice needed.

I am crestfallen, my wife accused me of being too controlling, nosey and manipulative...The problem is that she did not say this to my face, no I only found out when I was going through her handbag and read her diary. I also noted that there was a packet of chocolates in there. I have forbidden her to eat sweets as she has put on a lot of weight since the twins were born and she needs to diet. Worse still, I noted that she still talks to her mother, I have forbidden this as her mother says that I am a lazy good for nothing who exploits her. Well, this could not be further from the truth, it is true that most the money coming in to the house is from my wife working her three jobs but, as a poet I expect to start contributing as soon as my work is recognised, as soon as this happens I may allow her to give up one of her jobs or at least reduce the hours a little bit.

This disrespect has caused me to think that I might have to leave but I am wary of this as my wife buys my cider, advice, guidance and support will be appreciated. Many thanks.