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I’m Worried about My Future (sorry for my bad English and writing)

Hi, I’m a Japanese woman and I just turned 20 few days ago. Im not sure but maybe because of it I suddenly started to worry about my future so much that I can’t sleep well or even I sometimes suddenly cry…

Im going to start job hunting from this year, so I started to analyze myself, what I worked hard for in these uni student period, what I want to do after graduation or stuff like this. But the more I analyze myself, the more I realize that I did literally nothing in my uni period and I’m completely unsure what I want to do or where I want to work at. To be honest, I don’t wanna work that hard and I’m so sick of the way how we, Japanese work at the office. We don’t have any free time if we work at the office, and most of office workers lifestyles are completely inconvenient and not fun at all.

My future dream, after I get old, is to live in the countryside in foreign country where is surrounded by nature, and to do my hobbies all day and live so freely and comfortably. I’ve had a big desire for a free lifestyle for a long time, and I used to have a strong yearning for the free life of a pirate and the freedom of working on a ranch when I was a kid.This could be the reason of my future dream…

I know I have to work hard, sacrificing many things and endure the inconvenient life in order to achieve my future dream… but when I think of myself living that unfree and uncomfortable life after graduation, I can’t help but cry and despair. You would think that if I don’t wanna work at the office that much I should work as a farmer or a fisherman or like that, but the thing is, I go to a quite good and expensive university in japan now thanks to my father, and I don’t want to make my family and relatives get disappointed in me because they seem to have high expectations towards me. I’m not saying a farmer or fisherman are not good job that are considered as “disappointing job”, but I just don’t have any knowledges to do those jobs and if I get the job like that, what I’m learning in uni right now will end up being worthless and waste of money and time. (I’m learning commerce and business in university) I’m not even sure what I’m writing right now… but I want opinions from you guys, not from Japanese people. What job seems good for me? How can I disappear those worries?

I’m considering working abroad, but I know nothing about the work style of foreign countries and I don’t have enough language skills… I know I use excuses so much to avoid working hard and im so ignorant about the society. But please be kind to me… and I’m sorry for my poor English and long sentences.
ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
My daughter who is about your age also keeps giving herself a hard time trying to figure out her whole life. My wife and I keep trying to convince her that she does not need to work it all out!! She and you are still young and hopefully there are many years of life ahead of you to experience all kinds of things.

When I volunteered for a while in an old folks' home I was appalled by how many of the old people there were sad about their lives and felt they had been stuck in jobs they didn't like or marriages with people they weren't happy with. Don't be like them!! Don't give in to the pressures to take an office job. It clearly is not for you, at least at this time in your life.

Has the concept of a "gap year" arrived in Japan? If not, maybe you can introduce it. Suggest to your parents that before you make big life decisions you would like to take a year off, go and live (and work if possible) in some other country, and experience different sides of life.

There are a variety of websites for young people looking for jobs in different parts of the world. I know a young woman who went from Canada to Europe to work in a bakery or something like that for a year. It can be done.

If you could make this happen, it would also give your family a chance to get used to you not studying or doing dull work all the time. It would give you and them space to think about other possibilities.

Fly, @Arukas3! Be free! 🤗
originnone · 61-69, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess I'm having a lot of trouble seeing how you read that into my comments, but ok....
ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
@originnone not your comments!!! sree25's comments.
originnone · 61-69, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess No future daughter in law is half Japanese. Her mother was in Japan right after WWII....I sometimes wonder about her thoughts but am kind of afraid to ask. Personally, I have no animosity towards the Japanese...I guess it takes one or two generations maybe....IDK
originnone · 61-69, M
I'm on the other side of life. I'm turning 60 and just put in my retirement paperwork. My wife has major health issues and I care for her, so I can't work. My own personal thought is that it's better to get some of of what you want in the near future....don't want until you're where I am.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@originnone I’m sorry to hear that… but thank you for your message. I will do what I want to before I regret not doing it. I hope your wife gets better soon.
eyeno · M
My advice to my son many years ago, before entering college was to take classes that he'll use in the work place.
Something that he enjoys, good at and practical that will reinforce his career in the work place.
Money will come in time with experience.

Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@eyeno I tended to take classes where I could get good grades and almost forgot the original purpose of going to college. I will prioritize what I want to learn from now on. Thanks for ur advice!
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I'd say you're actually lucky because it's far easier to move from Japan to another country and find work there than from another country to Japan, which is a dream of some people I know. Most European countries have far more lenient immigration policy than Japan. You can do it if you get determined that that's really what you want and put effort into it.

If you're still in uni the best thing you can do is to use the benefits students have and go to a study stay abroad, experience different culture, talk to people there and learn how market works there.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@CrazyMusicLover thanks for ur message! As you said, I have to appreciate how blessed I am to have relatively many opportunities living in japan. Now that I’m considering studying abroad, I will focus on developing my future visions before wasting time worrying too much about my future.
Your English is very good. That alone suggests you are well educated and a good communicator. Why not work for an American company that operates in Japan and other nations, there could be opportunities down the road to relocate to a foreign country.. just a thought
sree251 · 41-45, M
@BiasForAction Great thought, but it is a plan for struggle, and that is the source of more misery.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@BiasForAction Thank you both for your messages. And thank you so much for the compliments. That job sounds great, but to be honest, I am not confident enough to say I could work at such a company... I would like to live abroad eventually, so I will focus on gaining experience and language skills before I actually leave Japan!
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
Your English is actually fairly decent. I can understand some of what you desire. I too have stayed too dream of getting a home in the countryside and living away from the fast pace of city life. I sort of work in an office right now. With changes from the pandemic it is easier to work remotely so I could possibly keep my office job and go to the country. But I need to save up more for that.

So I can understand your dream and share it a little bit.

I think you need to prioritize your dreams.

If you want to be a farmer or fisherman in Japan, then you should pursue that. But it is difficult to have that career and then move to a foreign country.

If you want to move to a foreign country you should seek a high paying job and live frugally so you can save money to move. Tech skills like programming are often the easiest for moving around. But you'll have to work in that area long enough to try to apply for citizenship in that country unless you plan to try to marry into citizenship.

It is not an easy path you seek. But I wish you luck. Feel free to reach out if you have other questions or want to know what US countryside is like.
sree251 · 41-45, M
@ViciDraco Sounds like you have a good family. Your contribution to their well-being speaks well of your upbringing. Back in the old frontier days, people helped each other out.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@ViciDraco Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve been thinking about my future recently, and I realized keenly that I was too ignorant to live alone in a country where I don’t know well enough. I need to gain an ability to live myself and become independently first, so I will work in Japan until I can gain enough experiences as well as language skills. Still tho, I want to live abroad at some point!
sree251 · 41-45, M
@Arukas3 Japan is the best place for Japanese to live in. Japan is not a country where people are behaving badly. In America, people behave very badly.
Confined · 56-60, M
Its never easy. Need to graduate school and get a job and get work experience. You can always work toward having that dream job, but in the mean time you need experience and money. Hang in there.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@Confined thanks for your message. You’re right, as u said I need to get experiences and money first, so I will prioritize those until i can pursue my future dream!
Rambler · M
the first step is to have a dream and to know what you want and what you don't want. best wishes to you as you pursue your dreams.
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@Rambler Sorry to be late to reply back to you, but thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll start a part time job first in order to expand my choices and find something I can work hard at.
Rambler · M
@Arukas3 that's a great start... all best, you'll make it work
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@Rambler thank you so much!
Khenpal1 · M
emigrate, worry later
Arukas3 · 18-21, F
@Khenpal1 thanks for ur answer! I’d have less stress if I could take actions with thinking too much… 😅

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