Anxious
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I’m Worried about My Future (sorry for my bad English and writing)

Hi, I’m a Japanese woman and I just turned 20 few days ago. Im not sure but maybe because of it I suddenly started to worry about my future so much that I can’t sleep well or even I sometimes suddenly cry…

Im going to start job hunting from this year, so I started to analyze myself, what I worked hard for in these uni student period, what I want to do after graduation or stuff like this. But the more I analyze myself, the more I realize that I did literally nothing in my uni period and I’m completely unsure what I want to do or where I want to work at. To be honest, I don’t wanna work that hard and I’m so sick of the way how we, Japanese work at the office. We don’t have any free time if we work at the office, and most of office workers lifestyles are completely inconvenient and not fun at all.

My future dream, after I get old, is to live in the countryside in foreign country where is surrounded by nature, and to do my hobbies all day and live so freely and comfortably. I’ve had a big desire for a free lifestyle for a long time, and I used to have a strong yearning for the free life of a pirate and the freedom of working on a ranch when I was a kid.This could be the reason of my future dream…

I know I have to work hard, sacrificing many things and endure the inconvenient life in order to achieve my future dream… but when I think of myself living that unfree and uncomfortable life after graduation, I can’t help but cry and despair. You would think that if I don’t wanna work at the office that much I should work as a farmer or a fisherman or like that, but the thing is, I go to a quite good and expensive university in japan now thanks to my father, and I don’t want to make my family and relatives get disappointed in me because they seem to have high expectations towards me. I’m not saying a farmer or fisherman are not good job that are considered as “disappointing job”, but I just don’t have any knowledges to do those jobs and if I get the job like that, what I’m learning in uni right now will end up being worthless and waste of money and time. (I’m learning commerce and business in university) I’m not even sure what I’m writing right now… but I want opinions from you guys, not from Japanese people. What job seems good for me? How can I disappear those worries?

I’m considering working abroad, but I know nothing about the work style of foreign countries and I don’t have enough language skills… I know I use excuses so much to avoid working hard and im so ignorant about the society. But please be kind to me… and I’m sorry for my poor English and long sentences.
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ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
My daughter who is about your age also keeps giving herself a hard time trying to figure out her whole life. My wife and I keep trying to convince her that she does not need to work it all out!! She and you are still young and hopefully there are many years of life ahead of you to experience all kinds of things.

When I volunteered for a while in an old folks' home I was appalled by how many of the old people there were sad about their lives and felt they had been stuck in jobs they didn't like or marriages with people they weren't happy with. Don't be like them!! Don't give in to the pressures to take an office job. It clearly is not for you, at least at this time in your life.

Has the concept of a "gap year" arrived in Japan? If not, maybe you can introduce it. Suggest to your parents that before you make big life decisions you would like to take a year off, go and live (and work if possible) in some other country, and experience different sides of life.

There are a variety of websites for young people looking for jobs in different parts of the world. I know a young woman who went from Canada to Europe to work in a bakery or something like that for a year. It can be done.

If you could make this happen, it would also give your family a chance to get used to you not studying or doing dull work all the time. It would give you and them space to think about other possibilities.

Fly, @Arukas3! Be free! 🤗
sree251 · 41-45, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess Gap year. Are you serious? She is Japanese. Folks in Japan don't have leeway to mess around. They take everything with care and seriousness unlike us people. Compare the public space in Tokyo with New York or Los Angeles. We are a sick people with no future. Let's not give advice to the Japanese. I know. We bombed them and we won the war. And we are occupying their country. The Japanese are not cowed. They are not a people you can talk down to.
originnone · 61-69, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess I never agreed with doing what you love. I love to play baseball, but with my neurotic nature, I'd worry 24/7 about my batting average...
originnone · 61-69, M
@sree251 You're coming down a little hard on this person.
sree251 · 41-45, M
@originnone This person is talking down to a young Japanese dealing with life conditions imposed on her people by American occupation of her country after WW2.
originnone · 61-69, M
@sree251 I think you're reading a lot into what they said....
sree251 · 41-45, M
@originnone Perhaps. I would like to believe that I am seeing beyond the surface. Arukas speaks as a Japanese girl at an age where life pressures are enormous. Unlike us, they stuff it in and march on regardless. Like prisoners of war, they fall, one after another, on their relentless trek to the Bridge on the River Kwai. Gap year, he says. Give me a break.
originnone · 61-69, M
@sree251 I guess I get your point....
ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
@sree251 It seems to me that you are the one talking down to the original poster, by depicting her as helpless, trapped in a relentlessly regimented culture. But, we'll see if she herself has any comments.
originnone · 61-69, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess I'm having a lot of trouble seeing how you read that into my comments, but ok....
ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M
@originnone not your comments!!! sree25's comments.
originnone · 61-69, M
@ServantOfTheGoddess No problem...my future daughter in law is half Japanese. Her mother was in Japan right after WWII....I sometimes wonder about her thoughts but am kind of afraid to ask. Personally, I have no animosity towards the Japanese...I guess it takes one or two generations maybe....IDK