Would THIS make you nuts? Am I the a-hole? *Story Inside*

Well ,neither is an ahole. She probably understands herself most of her compulsions are irrational but at the same time throwing it away calms her anxiety. She can repeat to you those anxieties as many times as she wants to her defence but she deeply knows the truth and fear of not being understood or judged makes it harder for her to admit so. She needs support and help to deny herself of performing those compulsions,the more she refuses to, the less power those anxieties will have over her. Buut it's a lifelong battle and understandably a frustrating one for you too

Jokes aside I'm neutral on this one. No one's wrong. She's suffering from ocd. She didn't do it to upset you, but as a way to look out for you. So you should be forgiving.

Its about 4 to 6 hours left out at room temp before bacteria starts growing and producing toxins. In food service thats the max itcan beleft out before refrigerating. 4 or 6 depends onthe temperature

Eta. Look up food safety temperature danger zone and you can both learn something

why not just put it in the fridge? problem solved. 🤷‍♀️

ergh I loathe food wastage

She might have thought - well, we're having ____ for dinner and this will never get eaten so might as well toss it now instead of having it hang around for 2 days first....I go through similar thought process sometimes with leftovers...Not that crazy - I'd take that as my worst relationship problem any day

She could have put it in the fridge if she noticed it shortly after you left but if not and it’s been left out for a while, then it’s safest to throw it away. My grandfather just spent 4 days in the hospital because of food poisoning. I don’t want you to have to go through the same. It makes you so sick. She was probably just looking out for you even if it was a compulsion. She doesn’t want you to get sick from spoiled food.

I get that you’re frustrated; but, it’s a sandwich. It isn’t the end of the world.

Seems to me this might have been one of those straws that send camels into back surgery.

Let me ask you this. You forgot the sandwich, an act that might make an OCD sufferer crazy. Is it okay for her to be outraged at such carelessness?

Seems like a draw to me.

Throwing away a sandwich made the same day?
That's.. Kinda absurd.

I understand your frustration, certainly, but if it was tossed out of concern for you rather than callousness, I think it calls for compassion rather than disdain. To her, those concerns are real. 🤷‍♀️

I think you did really well. If somebody threw away my sandwich I'd get really annoyed and I don't think I'd be able to keep it in.

That depends. What was in the sandwich? How long had it been left out of the fridge? What was the temperature of the room?

… it’s not you. That’s annoying.

Meanwhile.. here’s me..

You're not the a*hole, I think it's natural to get annoyed because it's wasting money on food that's still good by dumping it in the trash. To me, if you have a condition that could get better with therapy and it's not like the end all/be all of mental conditions, then that makes the other person responsible for themselves because you can easily use mental illness as an excuse for doing anything to anyone. Nobody can moderate you except you, so to me, people need to find a way to get help so they recognize HOW to deal with OCD related issues rather than just not dealing with it at all.

It's kind of like me with my panic disorder, I had panic attacks in the past and when it got to that really dark point, I was desperate enough to do anything. 8 years later and I've managed well through acceptance therapy and exposure therapy/changing my mind frame around quite a bit.

IDK but it sure is making me nut 🤤

If it laid on the counter I’d throw it away. If was in the refrigerator I’d keep it till the next day.

Order her to make you another sandwich. That will show her.

I don't like any of the options listed ..

I don't think you are an a hole for being miffed

and I really don't like saying people need treatment ... Seems harsh

No comment

Good luck pal lol 🫡

Is she getting help?
My aunt was like this - still is to a point - but she had loads of therapy for it

She didn’t do it to be hurtful or to upset you. She has a compulsion and this triggered it.

I understand being annoyed that your lunch was tossed but I would be more worried about her and making sure that she’s okay and has the support she needs to manage her OCD.

Youre not being an assho** your girlfriend needs help. She couldve put it in the fridge for you. Cool temperatures ward off germs.....

Throwing away food sucks, but her intentions are pure as she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you

Well damnit have you taken the trash out yet? Asking for friend...