Am I asking too much ?? Or what am I doing ?? I’ll start with a backstory .. my boyfriend and I...

It could of just been the approach, but you never know how to handle the new stuff that comes up with parenting. Truth is your child will be their own person and make their own choices. It's the example you set that matters and what you encourage. If it bothers you go ahead and get your degree when you can. I know it's tough, but if you're good parents, that's the best thing for your child 🖤

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Just cross that bridge when you get to it. Make sure he gets the best schooling that you can give him, and teach him at home as well. Both my daughters were reading at 3. I cannot tell you how many workbooks ive ordered to get them ready for their current grades and the grade that they would be in that next year year when they were smaller. I use ThriftBooks, It paid off they are both in college now. When the youngest was in preschool her teacher called me and asked if she could help teach the class, to teach other kids to read. I was so proud. Let him decide when he becomes college age.

3Dogmatic · 46-50, M

Don’t put the kid in a box this early. Graduate high school? Absolutely. College? Depends on the kid. The world needs skilled tradesmen, AI can’t defeat that.

As to the dust up with you and the BF, y’all need to sit down and have a real talk. Feelings are to be left at the door. You are NOT wrong for wanting better for your son. That speaks volumes to your character. Keep being the good Mom!

DownTheStreet · 56-60, M

Might approach it as "deserves more" as opposed to "not like us".
You 2 are doing what you can. And good parents want the best for their kids.

4meAndyou · F

In the end, your CHILD will decide whether or not he wants to go to college. I forced my son to finish high school, after he dropped out. He had to attend night school for two months, but he finished. And I would NOT allow him to attend Vo-Tech.

At the time, I am sure he thought I was a villain, but today, he is IT Director for both North and South America for his company. He travels a lot, and earns a PILE of money.

I can't take any credit for his brains, but I am VERY proud of him, and he wouldn't have been ABLE to get the job he has now if he went to Vo Tech.

YOUR son wants to be just like his Dad. Maybe it's not the smartest thing in the world to try to force him to be something he is not.

powernap · 56-60, M

The two of you need to keep talking and planning for your child's future. To me it seemed like you couldn't get a job without a high school diploma in the 70's.in the 80's you needed at least a n associate's degree to get a decent job. Today, you need at least a master's degree to get a high paying job. Do you see the progression here? Not only that, you have to look at what the cost per semester is in some of these colleges. The prices are going up, up, up. Bottom line is that you are going to need a college degree of some sort to get a decent paying job.

HootyTheNightOwl

Maybe just worry about your son graduating high school for now??? It might not be as grand as you imagine it to be now, but a high school diploma is better than his parents achieved and is something to be proud of.

Higher education isn't for everyone - and, by the time he's old enough to make the choice, your son might decide that he doesn't want to carry on in his education beyond graduating high school.

You could start saving a little money to put towards his education or some other big milestone in your son's future, though (even a round up to the nearest dollar on your purchases will soon build up nicely between now and his 18th birthday)... if you can. In this way, you won't be fighting with your boyfriend because your son will be the one making the final decision.

popmol · 26-30, M

maybe the way you said it was hurtful but in essence you want your son to have a better life then you 2 have or have more possibilities.

that's a good thing!

bijouxbroussard · F

It’s not unusual for people to want better for their children so that they don’t have to struggle and can have an easier life.
It’s not a question of not being "good enough”, which your partner apparently doesn’t get.

Parents who love their children want them to be happy however things go, but they also want them to have options. An education is one of the things that can provide more choices.

Orca4950 · 70-79, M

The world needs vehicle designers and parts designers etc

My kids and my nieces and nephews were the first to attend uni

a great goal for your son.

let the idea brew for a while

Justafantasy · M

So...my future ex wife wants our kids to not be blue collar workers. I'm of the opposite opinion, let them be what they want. Hard to make those decisions for them

ViciDraco · 36-40, M

Here's how I would change the approach...

You should want your son to have more options. Such that he could go to college if he chooses. But not that you are going to make him.

Being a mechanic and a cashier does not make you lesser people, even if the world decides to pay you as such. It's not about your son being better, it's about giving him more choices in the direction he could take his life.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

All you can do is get your son through high school. By the time he finishes high school you plan for college for your son may not be the path he takes. Just support your son in the path he will choose to take, because once a child chooses a path, Heaven and Hell be damned that is the path they will take.

Your wants and wishes can be shared with your son, but when he chooses a path that is what he will do.