She is 10 years old

Guys grow up at some point it just sucks that he didn't have to endure any of the hardships that it takes to raise a baby to an infant, and then a young girl, but he'll receive all the love and affection. Your daughter does deserve a father and I bet she wants one. I just hope this guy is mature enough to be one.

You are a strong woman and a great mum who has lived and provided alone all thus time. You want to do the right thing by your daughter.
Have you talked to her about it? I know shes only 10, but she might not want him in her life right now? I dont really think it should be his choice to make!
Give her the info she needs and reassure her you will always back her up.

My niece never knew her dad. He met her as a baby then told my sister he wasn't prepared to be in her life. He walked. No contact, no payments. When my niece was about 12, he got back in touch. His wife had died and he had 4 daughters. He wanted my sister and niece to become part of the girls lives and my sister said no way! But, she did tell her daughter he'd been in touch and she had half siblings and she said 'we've managed this far without him mum....i dont need him....hes done nothing for us'.
When she was 18, he found out where she worked. He sent her a letter and a cheque. She never told us what the letter said, but she was very angry about it. Ripped it and the cheque up and theres been no contact since. ( shes 40 now)

It must be a worrying and confusing time for you and yr girl. Sending love and strength yr way. X

Don't understand why you are denying your child contact with her biological father. Is it out of fear/jealousy/anger? you open with the fact that she has no family but she does..father/sister/grandparents. if he is of no danger to her it seems selfish to not allow it.

If he did indeed give up custody, bht wants to be part of her life, I would contact a lawyer and have him draw up a contract on conditional visitation, he visits, not take her (at first). I would wait till she is twelve for unsupervised visits.

I would also let him take her half sister with him on visits. But I would also want a few only visits before she ever meets him physically.

You are the parent, take what ever stipulation you care to put in the contract, and have it notorized when he signs it.

Then make two copies, keep one, give the other to the lawyer.

It is absolute proof you were willing to cooperate to a degree despite him giving up all rights. No judge is going to buy his bullshit otherwise if you held all the cards.

If it wasn't for the sibling, or her inevitable curiosity about her dad, I wouldn't bother about this till she was 16. But she has a sister out there. No need to punish the two of them because you and the dad don't get along.

@SW-User o I believe 100% you are. I think she wouldve felt like you took her choice away from her and caused friction in your relationship, then again, it may turn out not good, which can cause friction. But as time goes on and she discovers the fkd up ways of this fkd up world she will realize it wasn't your fault. You just did the best you could with what you had and knew and all your choices will tell a story of a mother's love for her daughter...

I donated sperm to make a person, but I still owe a bunch of $. I thought sperm donors got paid??? Fuck, just another dick in the ass from this POS world, story of my life . See, she just wanted a kid regardless, preferably with a dude that would go away, but still pay her every month, while she make all the decisions concerning the kid. I mean, I didn't put my balls in a little jar and hand them to her to put on a shelf. So, she slowly starts tightening the noose around my throat. I'm drinking a lot, I left because I didn't want the fighting around Dillon (I named him) so I was just fighting demons, I was always mentally stable but I get him 8hrs a week visitation, wouldn't get that, all holidays was her choice on what time I got with him. Fathersday even. She even put a notice in the paper, fuck I forget what it's called, but a notice about a name change and had his last name changed to hers, but I remained on the birth certificate, so I'd still have to pay support for a kid I never got to see and didn't even have my last name. I couldn't even go get him from day care and wasn't permitted to go to school functions till he was old enough to say he wanted me there. He played roller hockey, in which they won the championship and he took MVP for defensive player of the season. I was the bad guy, always, I couldn't be around him much because I was a terrible person and had the audacity to not kiss her ass. He started getting into trouble and smoking pot at like 11 I think, which he got from her illeagle pot grow in her home, but the trouble was my fault, the pot wasn't mentioned, so I just quit talking to em, I was always dogged out. So I remove myself and wake up one day, friends gone, family turned on me lost. My job everything and it's been 20+ yrs of unreal shit, real dark time everything fails, I've been blacklisted at life, can't even get a piece of ass, every job I get I lose before I even start. Praying for death. That's a whole other story that is so fkn surreal and my life is still shit! So 15yrs goes by. And the brainwashing worked, the person I donated sperm to create hates me, I'm the evil one still and get this, w/in a few days of texting her I get a bill from child support demanding I pay like $15k for back child support lol wtf. They can suck a bag of dicks pay when I was demonized to my son and forced out of his life, fuck them... Sorry for the book I just wanted u to see you had an option and you made the right choice, you're giving her the gift of choice, being able to choose if she wants her dad around and it's for her benefit. I hope that he is a good dude. Not saying he wasn't, but the shit is scary as fk for a young guy to have to know what to do. So hope it all turns around and she, your kid have the support and love she needs to stand firm against the perils of this fkn POS world!! My ex made monsters. Robbed me and most importantly the right to choose for himself about his dad. And me, I'm a pissed off and bitter mother fucker and w all the other vomit introduced into my life, I hate it. 20+ yrs gone destroyed my dog was even poisoned, d she was my only friend. But that's another pile of regurgitated feces...
Sorry for the book!!!

I believe your daughter should have a say so as well. Just because he wants to get to know her doesn’t mean she wants to get to know him. Talk with her and get her feedback (if you haven’t already).

Take it slow, don’t over commit. Do what YOU are comfortable with.

Kids are resilient, she recognizes your love for her. You may be her world, but family is more than just blood. There are many others who will love her and be there for her with you.

You are in a hard place but im glad you are thinking about her. Child support is a must though if he was equal rights. This is really positive for you

You are doing what you feel is best for your daughter, in spite of your fears. I think it will work out for the best.

All you can do is what you feel is right. But remember tigers are slow to change their stripes.

I think you are incredibly strong and selfless doing this for your daughter and giving her a chance to know her father.

I think you are - difficult as it must be to adapt to changed circumstances.

If I was you I would take it slow. It's one thing to make mistakes for a little while but if he has a long pattern in history of doing this then I would not over commit at all nor would I be quick to jump back into a relationship with the man just because you had a child together.

Honestly that is the stupidest thing you can do is be somewhere that is truly unhealthy for the both of you just trying to achieve a family dynamic that doesn't exist of his own free will in the first place. Trying hard to patch things up is one thing but remember it takes two to do so

She is a cutie

Hope it's working out okay for everybody

You both will be fine

Having been there, I think you are. She will quickly tell you if she wants to continue. Kids aren't dumb.

I would never give up custody of my child. Never! If he wants visitation that's one thing, but not full custody.