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She is 10 years old

And has never had any family except me. No grandparents, no aunts nor uncles, no cousins, no siblings. Just an unwed mother that loves her more than anything in this fucked up world.

He denied her at birth until i forced him to take a test. He has another daughter a month older. He signed over all his parental rights in exchange for no responsibility, visitation, or support.

Now he has changed his mind. Or maybe his parents changed it for him.
He doesnt know what sports she plays, what her favorite color is, what she doesnt like to eat, or anything else about her except her birthday. He doesnt know that she looks like him. But acts like me, he is gonna hate that. He doesnt even know how to spell her name.

I have battled with myself over what to do. I even considered moving and changing my name. You know that it costs less than $100 to change your name.

But i cant deny her what i have not been able to provide her with. I cant deny her to have a chance at a normal life with a family. I cant deny her the chance to know her father.

I can only pray that he has changed. That he isnt the rude, spoiled, selfish dick that he once was. He will have limited, paid supervised visitation with her until i can trust him. I just hope that i am making the right decision.
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RubySoo · 56-60, F
You are a strong woman and a great mum who has lived and provided alone all thus time. You want to do the right thing by your daughter.
Have you talked to her about it? I know shes only 10, but she might not want him in her life right now? I dont really think it should be his choice to make!
Give her the info she needs and reassure her you will always back her up.

My niece never knew her dad. He met her as a baby then told my sister he wasn't prepared to be in her life. He walked. No contact, no payments. When my niece was about 12, he got back in touch. His wife had died and he had 4 daughters. He wanted my sister and niece to become part of the girls lives and my sister said no way! But, she did tell her daughter he'd been in touch and she had half siblings and she said 'we've managed this far without him mum....i dont need him....hes done nothing for us'.
When she was 18, he found out where she worked. He sent her a letter and a cheque. She never told us what the letter said, but she was very angry about it. Ripped it and the cheque up and theres been no contact since. ( shes 40 now)

It must be a worrying and confusing time for you and yr girl. Sending love and strength yr way. X
daydeeo · 61-69, M
@RubySoo Talking to her might be good. My daughter has a similar situation. Her daughter us 9 and immature, but 10 year old might be able to deal with it. You, the mom, would know best.
lissah · 36-40, F
@RubySoo thank you Ruby. I did talk to Alliyana about her Dad. She does want to meet him and his family. They live in a different state so he will have to come where we live for his court supervised visits. They start next month.

Good for your niece. These dads that think they can just walk in and out of their kid's lives is so selfish, disruptive, and confusing for the kids. I wish Alliyana would had made the same choice as your niece but she did not. I think she is too young to put it all together that I am her sole support and that I have provided her with everything she has.

Thank you for your kind words.
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
@lissah givr her a chance. If he hasnt changed, she'll give him major attitude
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ronisme1 · 61-69, M
@lissah yep, she come back to you with quite a story
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
@ronisme1 by the way,i sent my kids to a ex who played games with me and them and they came home to me.
lissah · 36-40, F
@ronisme1 he is too scared to play games with me
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
@lissah arent we all
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@lissah i pray all will work out well for you all. Im sure you have done the right thing giving him this chance. Your girl will see him for what he is and make her own mind up over time.
He may well have changed over time and this could well be a positive move for all concerned.
Heres hoping for the very best outcome!
🤗🤗
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