Would you put...

We had to make that difficult decision for my elderly parents years ago. They were getting to the point where they could no longer care for themselves or their home due to declining health. My father had a very serious health episode that incapacitated him. My mother suffered from some mild dementia and was unable to care for herself. My siblings and myself went and stayed at their home during this crisis. My father recovered, and then they agreed to go live at a senior assisted living facility, which had a nursing home attached. About a year after they moved there from their home, my father had a sudden health decline which led to him dying there at the nursing home facility attached to the assisted living. My Mom died within the week of my Dad passing.

It would have been wonderful for my parents to be able to live with one of us, but we were unable to care for them in the capacity that they needed at the end. I was able to be by my parents side at the end of their lives. I still miss my parents.

Yes and no.....

My parents were divorced and both have passed on. But when they were alive...

I had a "hospital room" added to my home for my mom who was in a group home at the time due to her failing health (severe RA). She hated having to live there and I hated going there, so she agreed to split the costs of adding a room to my home and moving here.

Taking care of a parent is not for everyone. I was lucky, I worked from home and with the income from her SS she was able to hire a nurse to come in for several hours a day. As her health continued to decline and she became bedridden, the nurse's duties increased
substantially. Several years later she entered hospice and passed away. Her mind was sharp....but her body just finally gave out on her.

My father on the other hand lived in a facility where he was free to come and go as he pleased. Unfortunately, he began to suffer from dementia and moved to an assisted living facility where he eventually passed. He physically was in great shape, but his mind just failed. He passed not remembering or recognizing any of his children.

The lesson I learned from them is this: Don't think that your not going to get old.... Plan for it.

I won’t mind going on one myself but I would not even entertain this thought for my parents.
I have been fortunate that we lived together until my father’s demise. And now I have the blessed company of my mother.. The most beautiful, loving and kind lady despite the fact that she has dementia.
The feeling I get as her trembling boney fingers run through my hair is unmatched.

I would maintain every effort to keep them in their homes until the end. I did that. They are long dead. Better to be in jail then in those prisons. Retired RN here. They are horrible places. If no other choice, then do it. Monitor them closely. Do surprise checks. Truth.

No.
I did all I could do to assist my beloved parents till they breathed their last.

Had I missed this oppurtunity of serving them, I would regret all my life.

My father no
My mother yes, because she has been very abusive all her life and now that she has Alheimer's...she is a sheer nightmare..

Yes. For 2 reasons.

1. If they required care that I am not qualified to offer (lifting them, cleaning them in a shower, or helping them to the toilet), I would put them somewhere that would provide that.

2. They were extremely negligent toward me when I needed them most as a child , so we have never had a close bond. There would be zero guilt on my end if I had to place them in a care facility.

Yes I would our mother went Alzheimer's and she was no slacker. She passed away from it in 9 months, I met many others who told me I was so lucky, because their parents would go 20 years and just slowly lose everything mentally.

As fewer and fewer people have children, the issue of elder orphans - seniors declining in cognitive and physical abilities but with no one to even check in on them - is growing. At least your parents were fortunate enough to have you guys around.

Yes. When my mother became too disabled for us to handle, we found a good place that could meet her needs. She was in her late 90's.

{@theunderdogofny] no not if can really avoid it but if it got too that stage where her safetu was in danger then very reluctantly

There are so many factors to consider, it’s more than yes or no.
Are they capable of looking after themselves, with visits from family on a frequently basis, are you able to host them in your home, has their health deteriorated to the point they require medical attention daily?

Fucking never.

Sometimes you have to. You may not have the ability to provide the needed care at home.

Skilled nursing care exists in more places than just a hospital. Hospitals are strictly for short term care.

When i suggested that as a short trrm 3 week stay between moving from one house to their new house, I didn’t hear from them until they had moved

if there was a certain situation like memory lose or hospice, not because don't wan't to deal with them anymore

Hell no! I don't want my kids to be doing the same to me, plus I want to reach heaven on judgement day and I will be asked about my parents😬

I'd want to look after my daddy myself if it got to that point. My mum on the other hand can suffer on her own

I hope, if I reached that position, my children would be kind enough to help with that transition.

Did for my mom.

No.

No

My mother was briefly in one, because she suffered from dementia and what we could do for her care was limited. At this point my father is still mentally sound, and we help him as much as we can.