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I know I usually post pervy stuff, but this time is somewhat serious I want others opinions on

My mother, who abandoned me some times after I was born, has recently tried to contact me again. Don't why or for what reason. I don't really care. I don't want to see or talk with her.

What would you do in this situation?

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TexChik · F

Regrets are forever. I realize you are bitter and rightly so, but part of you is still a hurt little girl that needs to meet with her mother and learn why her mother abandoned her. If you don't like what she has to say, get up and leave. But at least you will know, and you can close that chapter once and for all.

Jeephikelove · 46-50, F

@BrandyCream @TexChik is right, it’s not an easy decision but you may regret the opportunity for some explanation and/or closure. Fair you don’t care now, you might when you’re in your 40’s or so.
Hugs to you, I’m also an abandoned kid, really fucking sucks!

rfatoday · 61-69, M

@TexChik @BrandyCream IMO this is great advice. I don't have your experience of being abandoned but I know from personal experience resentments can be toxic to those who carry them. I would imagine you are bound to be resentful. As jeephikelove essentially said, you are in the driver's seat if you choose to meet with her. She may well have regrets herself. Nobody will know until she has her say. Good luck making the decision. I am sure we'll all will back you no matter what you decide. 😀

SW-User

I know for me, I declined to try and rekindle anything when she tried contacting me.
My birth mom abandoned me when I was 4

You’re going to have to do some deep heart searching cause only you can make a decision on this

Tonydang · M

I know this must leave you confused and maybe even a little angry but sometimes there’s reasons for there actions I’m not condoning what your mom did in anyway but people go through stuff in there life’s that think it’s ok to do certain things I’d probably advise maybe listening to what she has to say before making a decision at least it might give you some clarity and peace knowing what really went through her head at the time

Catzgano · 31-35, F

I would have totally no expectations if you do but sometimes it’s better not let them back in they don’t deserve it

tallpowerhouseblonde · 31-35, F

Probably give her a chance to explain herself and also make sure she has no hidden agenda in choosing to reach out to you.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

You could talk to her on the phone, and see what she has to say. Or, not.

PrettyFlamingos · F

See what she has to say, then decide what’s best for ME

Pretzel · 61-69, M

decide if there was any plus to meeting up with her.
has she changed?
is she sorry about her choice to leave you - or was it really best for her to be out of your life.

it might do you good to vent a little anger at her and tell her how it made you feel.

then again - you could just tell her it's your turn to get out of her life

LadyBronte · 56-60, F

Dunno. Don't know what her motivations are and you won't either unless you meet her. But, if you can't be open to even a small possibility she isn't as bad as that action made her seem, there's no reason to talk to her. Only you can decide what you should do. Good luck. Whatever action you taje, hope it turns out for the best.

froggtongue · M

I totally understand not wanting to see someone who abandoned you. It's obviously all your choice. I'll ask though if in 10 or 20 or however many years from now when you think back to possibly finding out more about her decision and all, would you be okay with sticking by your choice?

CactusJackManson · M

Don't just walk. Run, the other way.

redredred · M

Meet with her in a coffee shop middle of the day. Hear her out. Don’t offer her any information and don’t make a scene.

After she dies you’ll be glad you did instead of wondering for the rest of your life about the meeting you missed.

redback · 51-55, M

At the end of the day it’s your decision to make.
She is your birth mother, but seeing as she didn’t or couldn’t be involved in your upbringing really cant offer any real advice.
Go with your gut even though it maybe worth investigation prior to a meet up.

Kumar007 · 36-40, M

U must talk at least

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

My exwife was adopted, and we tracked down her biological family. It was traumatic but turned out well(they were good people). But no one can tell you anything about how YOU personally feel. I think the idea that you're asking indicates a least a smattering of curiosity. Why not meet, and if there's no click, no need to stay in touch. Besides, you made it this far without her.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Your decision really, yet do consider it. For your family medical history if for nothing else.

Few actually think about medical histories. Yet it might be a life saver for you.

canusernamebemyusername · M

If I didnt miss them all this time I'd still not talk to them. Dont need the drama. But that is just me. It could turn out a good thing but I'm really cautious. Especially with family.

Teslin · M

I understand your hesitancy in meeting her. You are young, take your time, don't rush or be "forced" into making a decision.
If and when you are ready you will know.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I'd do what feels right to you. You owe her nothing. At the very least she owes you an apology. Whoever raised you are your parents.

Zaphod42 · 46-50, M

Your life, your call. Me, if I didn’t have any interest in meeting her I wouldn’t even waste my time pondering it.

ninjavu · 51-55, M

I suppose I'd be open to seeing what she has to say. I suppose we really need more information though to give better answers. But be wary.

oldercanuck1 · 70-79, M

i would not respond to her ,,, i have a life and she did not want to be in it then so why now ,,,

Alfarrobas · 31-35, M

Don't know. That's up to you.
You don't know what can be from there.
Real regret, or just a parasite.

Jonjdw · 46-50, M

It’s up to you but if it has been in and out throughout your life it will probably continue that way.

GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M

This is such a personal situation, no one can see it through your eyes other than you. I trust your instincts.

BackyardShaman · 61-69, M

Don’t see her, usually this happens when they want to use you in some way.

ReneeT · 61-69, M

I would try to talk with her but if she wants to meet make sure it is in a public place

gdon39 · 41-45, M

I’m 100% with you. It seems as if you have done just fine with out her. Hard decision.

Tukudo · 41-45, M

Have gratitude that she helped you to bring in this world!

SW-User

Tough question, I think I'd hear her out.

SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M

I'm curious what you did. I agree with Flamingos.

ravenhill · M

not sure, but it's up to you, goodluck.

Justafantasy · M

You answered it yourself

Allelse · 36-40, M

Ignore her and go on with your life.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

I wouldn't see or talk to her

river52 · 70-79, M

Totally up to you

hunkalove · 61-69, M

Ask her to buy me a car?

chrisCA · M

Meet with her.

Bushmanoz · 56-60, M

It's one of those doors that if you open you can't close again, only you know how you feel about it. If you don't want to see her then just don't you don't owe her anything, but you may want to hear her reasons.

My own mother was a mess, a violent drunk. I realised she was doing the best she could while fighting her own demons and baggage

LordShadowfire ·

Do you know that she abandoned you? Maybe you were taken from her, as I was. Or maybe she did abandon you, and now feels horrible and wants desperately to make it up to you.

View 1 more replies »

LordShadowfire ·

@BrandyCream 🥺
Did she at least give you a good explanation why?

BrandyCream · 22-25, F

@LordShadowfire No. Just kept saying I wouldn't understand or nothing she says would help. Gas lighting, basically.

LordShadowfire ·

@BrandyCream I see. Well, now you know she's not worth your time.

LordShadowfire ·

Are you absolutely certain she abandoned you? Because I was taken away from my mother by Child Persecution Services.

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