Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Should I stay or should I go?

We are both in our early 30’s
I make decent money. He makes $10 an hour. He needs to go back to school and in my opinion he hasn’t been motivated enough to change anything and it’s taking him way to long to figure out what he wants to do. He wants to get me pregnant... I don’t want to have a kid and be the one responsible for everything on my own- financially and most likely doing most work... and he is supposed to be gone for 1-2 years to go to school. I’m so tired of it all. He wont clean anything unless I tell him to do it. It’s like having a teenager, not a partner. I’m tired of having a husband who can’t get his shit together and who I have to take care of financially. I can do so much better.
ColonelFlytrap · 70-79, M Best Comment
You could fix him, with tremendous effort and many hard feelings, angry fights, that will eventually kill your love. He is now displaying his true self. If that self is unacceptable, then stop accepting it. If he is not compensating for what he will not do - housekeeping, cooking, etc. - by being a significant financial contributor, then he does not understand sharing responsibility; many men in the entitled age do not. And having a baby will just be one more responsibility for you, a trap to hold a slave.

It sounds like time to leave this boy and find a man, or find the strong woman inside you and live alone. Many girls dream all their early years about their wedding, and never look one week beyond that to their marriage. Do that now. There are men out there
Olhuveli · 36-40, F
@ColonelFlytrap Thank you for your reply. I’m not getting pregnant. Thankfully I have an IUD.
I don’t know where these men are. I don’t know any trustworthy, hard working men who are single. I lived alone for 5 years and was quite happy. I think I will be better off never getting married again.

I'm sure your post is from frustration and I completely understand where you're coming from.
I hope that whatever you chose will be something that will find you peace and success.
Having kids should be the last thing on his priority list. If he's still not house broken, I hate to say it, you will be chasing him for years with the laundry hamper and he won't change.
Having kids is a life long commitment and if he's not right in his life right now, (being that he needs to finish school etc) then maybe that's what his focus should be.

Maybe take a break ?? Go your own way and see what life changes he makes before going on w him??

You've gotta look out for yourself
You just wrote the answer to your question.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
4meAndyou · F
I think I would scratch the pregnant-with-him idea off my list. He is clueless and you have to ask yourself if you want your children to be clueless. Also, if you are making decent money and he isn't, are you going to be able to take time off to have a baby? People who are like him don't get better. He is looking for an easy life and a Mommy. Ask yourself if you want to be his Mommy.
Olhuveli · 36-40, F
@4meAndyou honestly... I don’t even want to have kids. Especially with him. I don’t want to be anyones mommy or to add even more responsibility to my 50-60h a week schedule...
lipstickguy · 61-69, M
if I go there will be trouble
if I stay it will be double
FishingTech · 36-40, M
I won't dictate your decision, but I once had a girlfriend that didn't want to work at all. I mean, its typical sometimes that men would be the one to work, but I made it clear to her from the start that I don't make enough for that. She "agreed" to get a job, but never did. Ultimately it was her that left me....then could not understand why I didn't want to take her back.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
So what’s your reasons for staying ?
Olhuveli · 36-40, F
@MrBrownstone I don’t even know at this point... I think I’m getting ready to leave him.
Should be an easy choice. You're too good for him and out of his league. It would be the best thing for him too if you left because he'll either realize he needs to grow up and make something of himself or life will keep kicking his ass.
if there ain't no love there, time to move on, people get stuck in ruts and find it hard to leave sometimes. but if there is love, you and your husband should try to work things out at least, I wish good vibes 💙
Wiseacre · F
Idk what to tell u..I mean he must've given signs he's not stable or responsible before marriage. I wouldn't be in such a relationship... getting pregnant would be a distraction, and I hope u decide against it...best luck!
SW-User
you already came to your conclusion. but it makes it hard when your partner is lazy and unmotivated.
BrianWatson · 31-35, M
If it's a simple financial matter, the decision seems simple enough. Dump the bastard.
ColonelFlytrap · 70-79, M
@Olhuveli i did too, twice. I thought i could change the first, but no. The second was perfect, but she changed. I have no idea what it would be like to have a partner - sounds great. But i know what it feels like to carry a deadbeat, and it sucks. Get out if you dan before it id too late. What did he do to deserve half?
Olhuveli · 36-40, F
@ColonelFlytrap he did nothing. I helped him pay off his dumb credit card debt while paying mortgage and buying him food. He doesn’t deserve anything but he will get it if he wants to because we were married when I bought this house. I’m so mad at myself.
ColonelFlytrap · 70-79, M
@Olhuveli if you are in a community property state. Do what i should have done, consult a lawyer.
Oside77 · 46-50, M

 
Post Comment