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If you've ever felt utterly helpless and scared...

How did you accept it or heal it?


Watching my dad in hospice as of a week tomorrow, it's been PAINSTAKING. He has aggressive cancer that could not be treated with chemotherapy. Being a stroke victim too and MS made him in a high percentage of dying from chemo than the disease itself. He's been sleeping all day , most days, but today at noon he was awake an hour..that was huge.

But tonight he was so weak again, and saying nonsensical things. He was moaning in pain and just seemed so uncomfortable..
Watching this SHIT cancer take over his entire body and mind, I feel HELPLESS. And the one tiny thing that was positive was he was on a steroid that helped inflammation.now hospice took that away because the side effects outweigh the benefits. I just am mad that we can't do anything to truly save someone ..and one day soon he could pass and I dont know how Ill cope🙁
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Cigarguy · 41-45, M
Yes you do, you are a strong woman and you will wake up and put both feet on the ground and stand up. Once you do that you can do anything. Don't think you have to do this alone. There are people here that care about you. Just keep telling yourself that. Deal the way you need to it's not wrong. Heal the way you need to. Cry, laugh, scream, post, laugh, be pissed off it's all okay but remember you have to do what feels right for you and no one else. You don't owe anyone else anything. It's your pain, you're grief your story. God will put you where you need to be. He will guide you.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Cigarguy That really means a lot, thank you friend 🌸
Miram · 31-35, F
Coral, you cannot save him from death, but you are already saving him from dying alone. In many traditions, simply being there holding space, witnessing, loving without fixing is considered one of the highest forms of compassion. Pain passes, confusion passes, even life passes. What does not pass is the love given in this moment. That love is not wasted. It goes with him, and it stays with you.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Miram Thank you. I'm trying to find a way mentally to accept that soon he won't be here..it feels wrong and unfair, he's just 72 and could have lived many years more. But I don't WANT to fear this. Thanks for saying my love goes with him. 🌹 I did tell him "You will always be with me, and I with you" the other day. I think I'm easing into acceptance. Ty again 🌻
Boeing · 36-40
That is what grief does, but many first go on denial of it whilst you are already accepting it... do not think you are not accepting it, because it appears messy, this is what it looks to be accepting it...
BuzzedLightyear · 61-69, M
Only God helps in these circumstances. Been there. Pray, friend.

 
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