If you've ever felt utterly helpless and scared... How did you accept it or heal it? Watching...

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

One day at a time.

It's going to hurt and it's going to be hard, I'm sorry.

You can cope by talking about it here and with your therapist. You can try different hobbies and do a little traveling maybe.

You carry on by living your life so that when it's your time, you have lived a full life.

Just please keep talking about it. People will get annoyed, at least that's what happened to me, but keep talking. It real and it's so hard so don't hold it in.

Stephie · 22-25, F

What hurts most is the fact that you know that you cannot help him despite all your will to do so.

Uncertainty is like gangrene that eats you up bit by bit. Your emotional pain is just as bad as his physical pain because nobody can take it away from you or from him.

Your healing process will only start after his departure to a better world. Only then will you be able to work on yourself. It is harsh to say but sadly, that is how it is.

You found some great moral support here at SW from some truly caring people. While we cannot hold your hand or his, we can help you alleviate your emotional stress.

twiigss · M

It's a shame you live far away from Maryland and aren't able to look into that proton therapy in Maryland. I don't know if proton therapy is offered anywhere else but apparently a person with cancer can go to the proton therapy center and get proton therapy instead of chemo.

That's what the commercials say, and they make it sound like it's a really good thing.

chuck7882 · 61-69, M

I know its hard. My dad had a massive heart attack and was on a ventilator for three weeks before he passed. Going to see him in the hospital every day was the hardest three weeks of my life. When he passed I consoled myself with the thought that he was finally at peace.

Cigarguy · 41-45, C

Yes you do, you are a strong woman and you will wake up and put both feet on the ground and stand up. Once you do that you can do anything. Don't think you have to do this alone. There are people here that care about you. Just keep telling yourself that. Deal the way you need to it's not wrong. Heal the way you need to. Cry, laugh, scream, post, laugh, be pissed off it's all okay but remember you have to do what feels right for you and no one else. You don't owe anyone else anything. It's your pain, you're grief your story. God will put you where you need to be. He will guide you.

Harmonium1923 · 56-60, M

When my mother was in that state, I asked myself how I wanted to spend my final days with her, and what she might like from me. (She was unable to talk at that point, but appeared to be able to understand at least some things). I decided to read her stories from some of our favorite books, ones that we pretty much knew by heart. Now those moments, even coming at such a difficult time, are some of my sweetest memories.

Miram · 31-35, F

Coral, you cannot save him from death, but you are already saving him from dying alone. In many traditions, simply being there holding space, witnessing, loving without fixing is considered one of the highest forms of compassion. Pain passes, confusion passes, even life passes. What does not pass is the love given in this moment. That love is not wasted. It goes with him, and it stays with you.

MayorOfCrushtown · M

Just being there for him means so much. I have no doubts that it brings him emotional comfort even through the physical pain. I am very sorry, my friend. its tough to watch as a loved one dies.

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Boeing · 36-40

That is what grief does, but many first go on denial of it whilst you are already accepting it... do not think you are not accepting it, because it appears messy, this is what it looks to be accepting it...

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

Being helpless can be debilitating, but also freeing. It means you can let go and make the most of it knowing there's nothing expected from you by life at the moment. You gotta be pragmatic, worrying and feeling bad over it won't help either.

BuzzedLightyear · 61-69, M

Only God helps in these circumstances. Been there. Pray, friend.

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